I surrender all to Jesus

Seriously I do just for today... that's all I have to do is surrender for today. I didn't do so well yesterday on surrendering it was so sad really I got insecure needed comfort went to eat carbs.... life cereal 1/2 a bagel a bag of popcorn none of it was awful calorie wise none of it tho was the healthy choice I needed to eat I was seeking comfort from Food not from Jesus not from a person -I could have made a phone call but I chose food- my first frienemy - because truly food is just that - it is my friend it is my enemy it is going to kill my life .

I am listening to a podcast of the 1st step - a meeting  it is so good to know i am not alone in this struggle So for today I am surrendering it all to Jesus that's the song playing in my head today.
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I am outta control

my eating is out of control I am fully engaged in my sugar addiction and I don't know how to stop it. The old things are not working the new things I don't wanna do whaaaa why can't I just be normal???

Normal what is NORMAL??

Definition of NORMAL

1

: perpendicular; especially : perpendicular to a tangent at a point of tangency

2

a : according with, constituting, or not deviating from a norm, rule, or principle

b : conforming to a type, standard, or regular pattern

3

: occurring naturally <normal immunity>

4

a : of, relating to, or characterized by average intelligence or development

b : free from mental disorder : sane

I am NOT normal in fact addiction is a bit of insanity though I suppose in an Overeaters group 

I could fit 2-b  but REALLY eating until you are so full you want to puke is not sane nor is it normal . It sucks to be fat it is so hard on my over all health it is hard on my body my joints hurt yet last night I ate cookie dough that I shouldn't have ordered until I was about sick - I did have a sane moment today when I gave the rest to my sister - she will bake it and feed it to her normal kids... 

OK so just for today I can indeed do the next right thing in my eating which is NO sugar 

Just for today....