one day at a time

went to an OA meeting today
some thoughts on that...

1st- they really do say-- my name is...and say it over and over their name and their problem lest you forget -this isn't a social meeting it is for people with problems.

2ndly - people in OA are not all fat people. oh no there are people in that room you would never guess to have problems with food -just like alcoholics and other addictions you can look "good" look "normal" and still have a problem

3rdly- the people in that room are perhaps the kindest non judging people I have ever seen.And it had nothing to do with anything I said or how I was dressed it had only to do with that fact I was in that room we all were for the same purpose to overcome addiction

4thly- to admit you are powerless to stop something feels like defeat but reality it is success because you see John 8:38 "the truth will set you free" is real

hi my name is Kim and I am a compulsive overeater.

loving Jesus

I really Love Him my Lord and Savior -
just wanted to say that...LOL

Oh my gosh I am SO sick of this blasted snow - I want color in my life no let me rephrase this I need Color in my life I need warmth and plenty of Sunshine!
I am procrastinating taking the rugs out to shake them in the cold...brrrrrrr and I am in the middle of cleaning house but ..really it isn't the same without throwing open a window or two!!! Ok as you can tell I am longing for Spring time!

I am picturing the newly green grass and the trees with their buds bursting forth in color and soft green leaves the flowers coming up from the ground the oranges yellows pinks purples the tall grassy grasses blowing in the soft winds of spring - ahhhh birds chirping
the blue skies with wispy white clouds floating above as we sing praises to the Lord who is the Lord of creation and the Lord of us all...

Ash wednesday....

the beginning of the Lenten season -- it is a time of reflection and repentance - a time to ask the Lord to show you what you need to change -- what sin in your life is keeping you from a closer walk with the Lord.

When starting this blog my thought was to be flat out honest in what I write it is hard sometimes because several people read this and that maybe it is safer to hide my REAL emotions and feelings from some of those people -- but if this can not be flat out honest blog then whats the point really..??

So here goes ...in my searching of myself in this Lenten season in the bible study I am in -Beth Moore's - Breaking Free- I am seeing Gods call for me to break free of my addiction - my addiction to food not a big surprise - heck it is all over me- front back hips arms ...but really to break free to be delivered from this addiction - I know it is possible --for all things are possible thru Christ Jesus --I have talked alot about diets about exercise about diet about exercise did I tell you about the latest diet attempt? yeah lots of talk and some action for a few weeks then back into the addiction I go - This has been a long time addiction - at one time in my life food was comfort food was a friend food was protection food was my god...yes my idol ... if I was sad hurt abused happy bored whatever- food was there - Food my friend my god my demon

I have cleared out so much of the junk from the past but I had no idea I couldn't just stop with this food thing - why can't I really? it is so simple according to most - just eat better - excersise more don't buy the wrong foods..yeah if it was only so easy-

I was in denial to think this isn't an addiction- like drinking drugs gambling it the food takes over my life I eat when I am not hungry if there is candy here in my house I can do nothing --think of nothing until it is gone consumed in a flash , hungry or not doesn't really matter - I gotta have it. I can not control it - it controls me - each bite is the last bite until moments later I gotta get another and another until it is GONE.

So how do i get deliverance from this ? I must SURRENDER to HIM -I must turn to Him- This is gonna be hard and I can't do it without Him - I have been delivered from so much I have been healed from so much How can I NOT believe He will heal me of this? Of course He will.

I need to go thru the steps yes there is a 12 step program for over eaters - but this is more then just ""over eating"" it is obsession it is addiction - food has been my god little g - I have placed food in the position of God (big G) it is time to make Jesus my true Master and not chocolate-Surrender to Him-- He has to be my all in all...
So there it is in all it's fat uglyness...I am so tired of being controlled by this addiction -

Snow Snow Snow!!

Snow Snow Snow!!
We had lots of snow - Molly LOVES it!

wonderful weekend

had an awesome weekend scrapbooking!
I love my friends! I have GREAT friends!
And I am sitting here typing listening to Molly do the deep snore- she must have missed me much as she is sleeping down here next to my chair and not up on my comfy bed ! Awww she is so sweet!
I need to do my BSF and my Beth Moore-- yikes got a Girl Scout meeting tonight and a trustee meeting ...

life in the fastlane !