reality bites,,,

well heres a slice of reality pie-- It is coming up on the holidays and I can not eat . well ok thats a lie I can not eat good food... no thats a lie too --ummm ok how bout this I can not eat all those wonderful sugery gooey yummy Christmas delights...yeah - and how do I feel about that? A little angry a little sad why can't I be like other people and eat what I want? whahaaaa I want to throw a big old fit and get doen on my knees and pray that God will fix this for me so I can ....yeahhh so I can eat sugar ?? no really? oh man how bout I get down on my knees and THANK HIM that I can eat? that I have food in my pantry and money in my wallet and health that allows me to eat. yeah ok getting my perspective back ...eyes off self and back on HIM where they belong--- thank you God that I can eat.

31 days

ok hey wow 31 days of food sobriety how cool is that??
But before I get all excited I know I better proceed with caution or I might fall off . I have not been writing down my food nor taking my blood sugar and that is dangerous - it is not taking care of myself. That is stupid.
And of course gonna be dealing with the holidays and all the issues with my mom about Rick not being here. Ah well once again God has shown me He has my back and That He is my justice. Found out that Rick met with our step brother Dave and told him his story-- interestingly enough he left 2 big parts out of it, Wow - It helps me to know in this holiday time of families and gatherings that Rick has NOT changed and the reasons we no longer allow him to be around us are still valid.

I will take these 30 days and with Gods help I will hit 30 more.

something happend on the way to this blog spot....

ha it has been a long time since I have written life has gotten crazy - Aunt Myra and Uncle Louie have been staying with us and they sleep in the computer room so thats part of it... and well just been busy out of my routines!!

today tho my crazy brain is back I am all unsettled and restless and want to numb out this feeling with food chocolate sugar sweets I can see that it is the transitions Myra and Louie leaving for 10 days and volleyball over for Jen my mom gonna have to have another angiogram and that means me staying all night in her hoarding apt mess...yeahhh and then theres my crazy brain!!

I know God is here in all this mess called my life I know He is soverign over all that happens in this life of mine this life in fact which belongs to Him - I surrendered it to Him so what the heck am I worring about here? Why this crazy brain thing? thats just me trying to control thngs and that is just plain stupid -
So prying my fingers off my life and putting my hands in HIS and following HIS lead.
Thank you Lord Jesus the King of my life and the defender of me - protect me from Crazy brained thinking amen