got it

well today the certificate came showing the copyright of the survivors tears survivors joys... wow -
I think it makes them real...I am not sure ...why..
anyway it is they are and that's that...

Camping was great ...can we call it camping since we were at the trailer?? LOL not sure ..but I really enjoy that group of girls.

I am looking at this scrapbooking room and realizing I must do some cleaning up and out this room becomes a don't know where else to put it out it there room...LOL
and my lovely daughter at this computer doesn't help either!! she is a bit of a slob...

Jen gets her drivers license this week if it all works out time wise - not sure how i am feeling bout that on one hand it will be a relief to not have to spend so much time in the car waiting but on the other hand sheeshh it puts me out of a job and it was nice all the reading I got done in that waiting time!!

ok well thats all I got today

whooo Hooo

I got the poems copyrighted ...
I do not know why that is so important for me..
to me but it is ...
and I am happy. :)

the food poems...

Food as a hammer pounding my soul
Beating me down swallowing me whole
Damage and destruction that swirls thru the night
Shredding my heart too devastated to fight
Letting the food demons take over my life
Giving them reign and a powerful knife
They use it to cut me and feed on my pain
Giving them my power to serve as their grain
Distorting my focus distorting my view
Leading me astray from what is true
Food like a beast with its power and might
Riding me astride like a warrior knight
Using hatred and fear as a shield from the Lord
Then came Jesus blood over me it was poured
And poof they were gone the hammers knives and shields
The demons couldn’t stand up to the power Jesus wields
My soul was saved by His sanctifying grace
I have been saved because He took my place.~~~
© kimshepherd2009
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Food dark – sharp like a knife
Hurting cutting messing up my life
Food that you eat but do not taste
Pounds that hide and bury my waist
Binging on food so no one can see
The pain and anguish of being me
Using the food to kill the pain
Eating food then puking down the drain
Food having a life of its very own making
Food owning me – my soul there for the taking
Focused on the food so the hate I can’t see
The hate that is slowly overtaking me
Hate for them who damaged my heart
Hate for myself who let them take part
Calling to Jesus to see me through this
Praying to Jesus from the dark abyss
Seeking deliverance needing His grace
The hate is gone without a trace
The food is put back in its rightful position
Healing has come from the true physician
I am free of the sins and deadly lies
The Lord has heard and heeded my cries.~~~
© kimshepherd2009
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It’s the woman in the mirror
What she sees is not too clear
That food has become her choice of drug
No not heroin or wine it’s not beer she hugs
It is chocolate and greasy burgers and fries
That is the way this woman gets high
She stands at the fridge hearing the call
She eats and she eats till she can’t feel at all
The pain of her life is amazingly clear
The cries of her heart that nobody hears
Her answer to the pain is the food in her hands
She doesn’t think anyone else understands
Money no object – the money she spends
Hoping the next fix brings the pain to an end
But at the end of the binge she feels the same pain
That’s when she takes it to the drain
Purging her body purging her soul
Waiting until the next urge takes hold
She doesn’t seek Jesus she doesn’t look to God
This woman of faith don’t you think it is odd?
She talks of His glory, His healing, His Love
But when she is in trouble she doesn’t look above
Oh woman ask Jesus to stand in the gap to pick up your slack
To be your comfort, your joy, your strength that you lack
He will heal your heart- fill your soul
Only Jesus can make you whole.~~~~
© kimshepherd2009

things that are in my brain...

~~~I got up this morning and my left side of my mouth was still swollen and kinda numb from the dental work yesterday ...ahhh little bit scary to think maybe she hit a nerve and this is it LOL it went down... everyone asks how do you like your new teeth ..I think I want to bite people!! LOL just kidding!~~~

~~~yesterday I went ot BSF fellowship and was a bit nervous at the thought of sitting at the table with cookies or brownies ..(ok not the people the food yeah I know~! LOL) anyway God is so good to me Cindy served lemon bars! YIKES! hahaha I HATE lemon bars I am sooo thankful Cindy had lemon bars!~~~~

~~~ we have been redoing the trailer and I need to fill the picture college frames with trailer pics...sighhh it is tedious work..the trailer looks great tho kinda exciting for going down and seeing something new! I'll have pics to post after this weekend! ~~~~~~

~~~ Still doing the OA thing I guess I will always be doing the OA thing -- LOL - went to a retreat last weekend - it was really cool . Course I am a retreat kinda girl - but there was no sweets involved and I got to get a bit more familiar with the OA program and that's helpful.~~~~~

~~~~ Compulsive eating is a disease thats tough to wrap my brain around I have been told my whole life it was something I could control obviously thats not the truth or I woulda by now...being the control freak I can be.. So to see it as a disease makes it a bit more harsh I guess a little daunting to think it is something there is no real cure for that like the cigarettes that I still think about occasionally(after 20 years as a non smoker...) this food thing will also be with me my whole rest of my life sighhhh oh well it is always something I guess... there are ways of fighting this thing and I guess thats what I have to concentrate on doing my step work and using the OA tools....~~~~~