saturday night before Easter morn.....

Wow it is Sat night of Easter weekend ...family's will be coloring eggs (miss those days I truly do!!) Moms will be bathing the kids ,ironing and setting out those nice new crisp Easter clothes...and after the little ones are in bed moms and dads...ok well moms arrange the Easter baskets filling them with Candy and toys and that crinkly green cellophane grass,,,,
But go back- back to that first Easter...and to the thoughts and fears of those who loved and believed in Jesus...we know Thomas had to have his doubts as to if Jesus was going to Rise on Sunday from the dead ....but what about Peter and John the beloved...and Mary oh my heart as a mother breaks for her and what she saw on Fri,... her beautiful boy Gods son tortured and killed in such a way and SHE knew He was Gods son but surly even she had a doubt or a touch of fear of what would REALLY happen on Sunday the 3rd day....the hope ever alive that her Son would be whole again.,. not tattered and torn and bloody as she saw him last.

So tonight as you try and scrub those little hands free of egg dye ( oh come on all kids need purple and blue fingers on Easter!) And as you sneak a piece of chocolate or two from the basket,....think on what it was like on the other side of Easter morning the other side of the resurrection as they waited in sorrow at what went before them on Fri-- to what is awaited on Sun... If Friday is colored Black and Sunday is colored white then surly Sat is the color of grey for waiting and suspense and sadness and hope ....

Happy Easter -- He is Risen indeed!~!

pictures....

Maddie "5"

making God centered decisions...

my alters ego melting thru Gods love and healing....

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I seem to be headed in a direction I am not sure God wants me to go.
I need to be still and listen not rush like the fool I am.

It seems since last year and all the healing that has taken place over the last 5 years in my life I have so many things that "I" can now do - all are gifts from Him but where is my niche?

What is it HE wants me to do?

I love the photography thing but frankly if He wants me to do that then He truly is going to have to open my mind to learn the things I need to learn - And I guess for my part in it I need to sit still and listen to Him to hear it.

There are so many things - talents and I don't want to give up a one - it makes me sad but I also know I really can't do them all well. /so I am going to have to decide- thru Him WHAT it is HE wants me to focus on.

I know I need to renounce this sadness ...but wouldn't it be natural to be a little sad?

I know there is a ministry out there - He has it for me - I am not sure when it is right for me - I am not sure about maybe going back to school...back ...heck how about going TO school. So much to learn so much I missed .. guess the Lord would have to open my mind up to THAT too...

I really was hoping that thru the new church I would "find" my niche and it would be easy but that isn't happening and what I see is that would NOT be me depending on Him....

Dear God I know I am so much better at this then I was 6 years ago.,..but Lord it is still so hard -

grieving heart

oh Lord my heart grieves for the sinfulness of this nation.
I see plenty why people stop reading newspapers and stop watching TV the sinfulness that is tolerated by the world that is perpetuated by the world is grievous. Lord Jesus could you come back soon. My heart and soul can not take the ugly that has become the world.
My baby girl is going to Thailand to work with the rescued women and GIRLS who have been sold ..SOLD into the sex trades...bought by men - the TV shows that have no redeeming values even as entertainment they cause heartache and embarrassment
my heart is heavy this morning with the weight of the worlds sinfulness and my own.

Scrapbooking...

This weekend is MY weekend -- I am going to a hotel and scrapbooking all weekend. I am inviting friends to come and set up and scrap but the space is mine ! yea!!
I am going to the fairfield which is a suite - So the next few days it is getting ready --packing everything up and getting supplies....
My goal is to get Jenni caught up thru 2007...so all of 06 and all of 07...that is a LOT!

And when I get back I have a wedding consult / engagement photo session...

exciting times I live in!!

feeling His call

been not doing what I should in my holiness walk -
and feeling His call to me in my soul
feeling my heart being pulled by His Word feeling my inner most being touched by His love
soaking up His word needing more more more
His promises cover me like a soft blanket in saftey and assurences that all is well for me
I want to live in His words live in His warmth in His love in His Grace -
my heart is bursting with love for Jesus what He has done for me -
Thank you Lord

overwhelmed

Wow it has been rough these last couple days Scott sick Jen still not 100% the cookie booths the garage sale for school the boys decsions that have to be made it is all crashing down on me and I am ready to snap--no snapping no splitting no breaking leaning on the Lord laying my head on His broad shoulders and resting.