Busy Busy Busy...

I have been humming along busily these last few days getting my life and house in order along with a friends...


God is so awesome...He gives us gifts and talents as we need them in our lives to help ourselves and others .


Who knew I could be this person of organization ...LOL
bossy ..yes but helping others to organize their spaces...huh...

Like I said God is awesome!

Randomness....

Wow Scott and I sat talking about all this new year is going to bring...and not that we have a crystal ball or anything but facing some facts of life the boys are graduating and they will be 19 in Aug. I know those changes of them moving on are going to happen and it is not really catching me by surprise ...and some days I could help them pack their things frankly... but today ...tonight right now in the midst of Christmas memories and happiness and light ...it seems so hard to think on those things that are yet to come. 2009 IS going to bring big change in our lives in our family.

I lost 3.8 pounds in the last 10 days ...pretty amazing with the holidays then talking about changes and I so want to go stick my face in something sweet...so glad getting those temptations out of my sight out of my reach.

Christmas present's

Wow Christmas presents...presence.. It has been a wonderful Christmas- for all the chaos leading up to the feeling that I was running behind the not getting away with my sweetie to Brown County - over all it has been great.
Great memories with my kids great moments with family and now gearing up for a new year- a year for change--
changing ME which is funny because it seems like the last 6 years has been all about change.
God - Jesus so present in my life the changes He has wrought
(Wrought :1. Put together; created: a carefully wrought plan.
2. Shaped by hammering with tools 3. Made delicately or elaborately)
through counseling Bible Study and personal growth- amazing ..now it is time for the physical changes. This weight. I am tired . I carried the emotional weight for so many years and that is gone ..now it is time to shed the physical weight.
Can I do this? - oh no doubt with His presence in my life nothing is too hard or imposable.
2009 - number 9 is my favorite-- I declare 2009 to be my favorite year of all...what is yet to be is going to be terrific and wonderful -- oh it will be hard at times.. BUT this time next year I hope to be writing of the changes made in my physical body and hope that those changes match what has changed in my emotional mental body...

SO lets hear it for 2009!

Almost Christmas ....

I love Christmas ...it hasn't always been this way...

Christmas past where Christmas held such hope but produced little joy and lot's of dissappointment heartache and sadness. Split between 2 households never where I wanted to be -only where the courts dictated and parents decided.

Christmas present - Christmas mornings .....
I love being able to give others gifts that make them happy- I love my kids and want them to have great memories of Santa and surprises of opening boxes and finding just exactly what they wanted. Having stacks of presents to open .


yet now Knowing God as I do - seeing Jesus and what He has done in my life Should Christmas as it is now still be what I seem to have made it? Do my kids GET that this is about Jesus ? Not the presents not about Joy that mom and dad can give them but about the eternal Joy thru Jesus? Have I inadvertantly wreaked Christmas?

Something for me to ponder ....

Busy Dec.

wow got some of ...most of the shopping done I am thinking it seems so disorganized this year!!! LOL Of course I think I said that last year too!! How could it have been easier when the kids where so little and yet now they are mostly grown the shopping is so hard?? (this is said with a whine in my voice...LOL).
Jes went with me today that was fun..we had a great time.

Tonight was a true love waits ceremony for some of the teen girls at church. Jen is one of them it was very cool.



it has been such a crazy few months ..with Jens surgury and well just life in general with 2 18 yo boys...
I need to slow down ...slow WAYYYYYYYYYY down once again be still and know HE is God ....

facebook

my friend Shari got me to sign up for facebook and somehow the beast (facebook- not Shari!) got into my address book and emailed my world! YIKES now I got this boy scout man adding me to his facebook!! yikes yikes yikes!!! LOL

God is consistent and persistent

God is consistent and persistent! Why do I say this WElllll Of course God is consistent He never changes...so that is who He is and I like that about Him...He is persistent because He hasn't just taken His hands off me and walked away....WOW -He keeps getting my attention over and over about the things I am supposed to be doing. And it is with a heavy heart I must confess I have not been consistent or persistent in my tasks,
I am still trying to make this journey on my own without Him a lot of times and that is just stupid.
All the healing He has graced me with and I can even think I can do anything on my own without HIM...how stupid I am and God I am so sorry- And Lord I thank you for your persistent and consistent LOVE.

holiday pics....

Count Down to Thanksgiving.....

Well it is Monday Jenni is sleeping in there no school again today-
For me I need to get my lists going for Thursday and that blasted Turkey better be thawing!!
I do love Thanksgiving with family and food and just the warm fuzzies...I get from the bright warm orange colors!! LOL
Scott and the boys will take jens stuff back to her room so we will have use of the dining room...
hopefully she will be back tro school at least 1/2 days... tomorrow and wed.

OHHH and I ordered Photo shop cs3 ! it comes with cs4 free upgrade!! YEA! of course now will come the challenge of learning how to work it!!

I AM SO TIRED>>>>>>>>

oh my goodness thisis like when the babies where little! Up 3 times at night ...yikes... BUT tonight I am sleeping upstairs and Scott is taking the downstairs nursing shift I am gonna push for tonight AND Sat night!! LOL
Scott suggested I have Cher do Thanksgiving but I want to do it....it isn't THAT hard and I like tohe comfort of having it here.,
it isn't comfortable at other peoples houses.,..
ahhh well we have Owens Birthfday party tonight
I am making him a Mickey Mouse cake...
ok off ot get dressed and get Jen up and moving....she can't sleep at night yet lets see she has been asleep now since 5:45 a.m. alomsot 6 hours....sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Jen's feet

Wow Jenni's surgery it is tough watching her in pain...yesterday she almost passed out from the pain she got white as a sheet ---her face including her lips had NO color in them what so ever it was very scary almost called 911 but she came out of it -
last night it was rough one and today Sunday she has had toe pain and is now sleeping with meds. \

trying not to eat my worry my frustration my anxiety my inability to take her pain away

I got out of the house yesterday for a bit it was nice I miss going to Worship today - but she was supposed to get up and have a wash and hair washing but her pain was too much . I got my 1st place done and some quiet time with God and my book...so bonus

And best of all the sun is out! yeah!

busted by the dietitian....

busted by the dietitian today she so held on tight to what she knew and made me write down the stupid diet coke cake I ate....

me and food do not have the best relationship...ok thats a sentence the fact that I think you can have a relationship with food probably spells out just what the trouble is for me!

ok Lord please help me get past this living to eat and get to the eating to live .......

Mother Daughter conference

Wow what great speakers at the conference wish EVERY mom could hear some of the things we heard.

And the girls to say No to the Bozo --

Mostly that mom's are not to be their daughters Friends... and that is so hard - it does get easier tho as they get older...I feel my oldest Jes and I have a More mom/ friend relationship now-- of course she is out on her own and I am friend when she wants it and mom when she needs it seems like it is more about her wants and needs then my own but I am OK with that -- I got lots of friends it is nice to be on an even keel relationship with her!!! LOL

With Jen right now it is hard because she and I are in thr throes of her growing up years and I can no be her friend but it really makes me sad to see her being friends with other moms out there and I guess the difference is Jes was so anti social I don't remember her doing that where Jen has coaches and such that she gravitates towards. And because she is a great kid and sometimes mature in conversation and thinking they treat her as an equal ..kinda weird but seeing it happen and only getting a small piece of her occasionally well it is hard ..it is sad.. for me -- but I am trusting that because there are times she and I have fun and click ..that as she grows up we too will have a good relationship.

Hard

well this daily diabetic life sucks, I want to eat junk I want cake and candy and cookies...I sound like a 2 year old...
This last week has not been a good one for my eating I got away from writing stuff down and blam eating what I want and not what I need so my bad.,..

Didn't do the 1st place study daily and that's bad too...lets see today's verse I am to have memorized...
By faith Abraham went to a place he didn't know that was to be his inheritance and he went in faith?? obedience ..??? Heb 11 something...
ahhh Heb. 11:8 by faith Abraham when called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance ,obeyed and went even though he did not know where he was going.
yeah,.,...
This weeks study is all about God doing the imposable and do I believe God can do the imposable like helping me with my self control ... About how Sarah laughed in the face of God doing the imposable Do we laugh when God wants to do the imposable thru us??
Does God think it is imposable for me to eat right and be healthy?? Nope if He did He wouldn't have led me to this first place Bible study--- So I guess it is time for me to quit laughing in Gods face and humble myself before Him and get help doing what IS imposable for me to do on my own...

Happy Birthday to me....

Owen and Auntie Missy at the party....

Well I am 48 ...and tired!! LOL
We had a surprise party for Susi mom yesterday (she and I share a birthday!) it turned out great.
But today I am so tired... I do not want to go swim but I need to go swim...I am starting to come down with a cold.. yuck....

I did do the Baily photo shoot it turned out great got some good shots for them .

Now we are gearing up to get Jens feet operated on ... So gotta get the house cleaned back up and things organized!

man it is ALWAYS something huh??

Brown County

it was an awesome weekend at our little place -
Scott is a little too serious about his pancake flipping !!



really it was a great time for our family and the weather was awesome!
now it is home to cold and windy!

I am shooting some senior pics for Adam and family pics for the Baileys

Hoping to get a new flash for my Birthday!

I will be 48 on Sunday

I am also hoping ot get my braces off soon!

And now I am off to spend some qiet time with The Lord.

He is so good and awesome and wonderful!

Got another wedding to shoot!

Jo is getting married in Dec! How cute is she!!

<

Writing instead of eating...LOL

well the guys have all fixed pop corn and I am not REALLY hungry just it smells so darn good!

BSF tomorrow and teacher conferences

WED -wow a quandary I have Scott's niece and great niece and mom coming to dinner something we planned WAY before the wed. nite 1st place meetings... but now wed. nites are for first place we are in the beginings watching a DVD on the program... I REALLY want to visit with Nicole and Olivia but man I do not want to miss a meeting it 1st place is about committing to the program... sighhhhhh

ok well I guess I need ot pray about it huh? yeah...

heres a picture ....a cake I did for the orthodontist...no it isn't perfect but I KNOW it was good...and it looks good too!!LOL

figuring things out

today I was rejected and I wanted to eat... it wasn't a big rejection just a small subtle one but it was enough that before I identified the feeling I was already thinking how I was going to make this pumpkin spice bread and ice it with cream cheese icing... now that seems harmless enough I suppose this making of bread until you attach it to the feelings of rejection and BLAM you got an eating binge that would do harm to my newly lost 3#...sighhhhhh
that would bite.... LOL

Jesus is my everything He does not reject me therefore how can I be among the rejected??

I might still make the bread but not until it is closer to the time the boys and Scott get home so we can have it while we watch our shows.

God is so good --- all the time

Got a Group

Well last night was our orientation I think it is going to be good - I think most all of them have done it before-- me and Shari have not and we are the only ones not from that church SO it is kinda wierd -but hey we are all Sisters in Christ-so it is all good!

Tonight is Jenni's Tourney they play Franklin Central -
here is her picture on the court...

First Place

Well I guess we start offically tomorrow Shari found a group starting wed nites...that is do-able-- I am excited! I am doing faily well with the diabetic diet thing and working VERY hard to put Jesus first in all things ...

make HIM my everything.,.. sad? I turn to Jesus - scared I turn to Jesus -- it isn't always easy not that it is a hard thing just not my habit! my habit is food people food...people --- not that I eat people ...LOL just It hasn't been my habit to make JEsus my everything
ok anyway thats my life.......LOL

nutrition.......

nutrition.... going to see a nutritionist today .hummm wonder what she's gonna say like maybe eat more veggies???
sighhhhhhhhhh why can't this be easy?? just this one thing....LOL
now I am whining what I am hearing in my heart is aww come on Kim look at how easy you have things...LOL
Somewhere there is some skinny girl who can eat what she wants yet is terrified of strangers ....LOL who takes herself and those around her too seriously and never has any fun.... well I hope she eats a chocolate bar for me!

learning the Lord's lessons

Submission- The Lord is the Lord of all or not Lord at all...

Submitting sounds so ...early caveman cave woman... BUT reality is -it is freedom! Being free to be who the Lord sees you to be -
It is being covered by His love and Grace in a whole new way
It is resting and trusting in Him in His love for the small details of our lives.

learning His lessons..have you ever had a time in your life where the Lord just keeps getting you the same message by all kinds of different avenues?? God is so GOOD!

Wilson...or the walmart price smiley ...

this is wilson having fun in the sun....

and here he is on the run...LOL


or it is the walmart price smiley on vacation!!

Frustrated

Wanting to start the first place Bible study.,.,.got the stuff but really need a strong group - praying that the Lord will put together a good group.
Where we are trying to do this the lady is very nice but....
Wow I have some big time doubts

wow

living a surrendered life I think I get it, Now it is living it - God is so awesome my heart is brimming over with His love for me for all of us really , I know He loves us all equally but I would like to think He has a special place for abused and neglected kids..

tonight I feel like a precious jewel of Gods...

tonight marks and ending and a beginning...

feeling badly

have you ever said something and then feel really bad ? of course everyone has... I just feel like I put my foot in my mouth with a friend and it wasn't my fault I just feel badly that she might have been hurt even if it was inadvertantly by me. I feel realllyyyy stupid

ughhaaruggggahhhh

ok now I gotta let it go right? RIGHT...sighhhhhhh

first place

Well Dave says : As far as your weight goes I believe it will not be an issue when you learn to take Jesus as your everything instead of using food to fill the need inside. You will then eat for sustainence rather than for emotional reasons.

I started weight watchers but just HATE points... HATE the group junk

Some friends have said first place~ first place ( thanks Mary ,Carol , Donna!)
everything in this last part of my healing jurney is leaning towards JESUS being FIRST PLACE in my life... DUH I am such a dork ---

We know this is truth- ( the Jesus thing NOT the dork thing!) I KNOW this is truth Jesus has to be first place -
SO starting the first place bible study ...Seems so much better then WW or even SB not sure about the whole calorie counting thing that seems hard but the scriptures I am underlining WOW

Nahum1 : 7 The LORD is good, a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust in him,

Zechariah 4: So he said to me, "This is the word of the LORD to Zerubbabel: 'Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,' says the LORD Almighty. msg Bible says :: Then he said, "This is God's Message to Zerubbabel: 'You can't force these things. They only come about through my Spirit,'

Humility Kim --- God has told me over and over I am nothing - humble myself I am not Him I can't be God not my god not my kids god nobodys god coz...I ani't GOD...

I can't do this only thru His Spirit can I do this back to John 15:5
I am the vine ....apart from Me you can do nothing -- the words of Jesus right there ...

ok well something I read today was just do the first right thing,,,, I think God wants me to do this - so I am doing the first right thing-

Homecoming

Here are the group of girls Jen went to homecoming with...

are they cute or what??!!

new BSF year

yea new BSF year I am excited tho obviously miss my old group but...sighhh the new group will be fun too...I am sure of it, coz God is good! He knows me...LOL and He loves me...

let's see it is the last photo class did I learn anything...yes...a little wish I had more time to have put more into the outta class stuff... don't feel like I will carry it in my brain long...LOL

DOF...PV...TV... f-stops... metering.... uggghh...with all thats going on in my world who can think....

ok well what eles ...

BSF thought of the week,,,,
if there is no conflict between what you read ( in Bible study) and hear ( in lecture or sermons at your church ) with how you are living then there is no truth in your study - God works thru His word there is thinking and changing going on in growth--
the TRUTH of scripture must bring change and growth.

WOW ...

parental heartbreak

heart is battered and bruised by the things they do
they do wrong while smiling and saying Jesus loves you
they sit in the church and hear all that is right and good
but then comes the girlfriends and not doing as they should
they laugh at your values snear at your rules
they sneak around like we adults are all fools
when did we lose those babies so sweet
the small little hands the sweet little feet?
why are they living like eternaity doesn't matter?

need to get my smiles back

make me laugh make me smile -- come on I dare ya...

There has been so much going on it weighs me down and frankly who needs to add weight??? NOT me -

I bought flowers for me and my sisters ( all three bouquets matched) ..they are so pretty

I am calling them sister flowers...

they are beautiful and full of life -love -and joy

and I hope they made them smile like they did me -

Rough week in kimville

it has been a rough week -God is good ALL THE TIME and things turned out ok- for me
I faced some things like death a 2ND time -- the first being my hysterectomy --for some reason that time I felt like I was looking at death --and then this week --with that tech and the bone scan-- wow -- I am not sure I want to "face" my death -- maybe going fast like Kristi in the accident is a better way then a long drawn out thing I guess God has it all under His control and He takes us when it is our time , So if this wasn't MY time then I know He does have a mighty plan to use what I have been thru for His kingdom work - it was a good test of not jumping ahead in my head and playing things out without putting God in the control seat- I had to keep the reigns on my emotions and reign in the fear and sadness... and lean on Him trusting Him --

Stuff...

Wow taking a photo class a fundamentals class starting next week -- I am pretty excited.. scared son't really know what my learning curve is - hope I can do this! Coz I want to -

here are pictures I took at the fair... they print out really crisp... not sure what the online conversion will do to them! CLICK ON THE PICTURE TO SEE IT BIGGER!

Jenni and Gracie

Lauren and Josh

Jeremy and Morgan

Jes and Eric

Scott and me

the midway

Goat

Cute little kids twin boys...and a sister

Loved the signs above their heads

the barn they moved from accross 38th street

My Jesus

.....taking His hand
..........feeling His strength
...............knowing His love for me
.......................trumps all .

Junk

there is lots of junk going on ...needing prayers

my Bible devotions today were Romans 8:28-38

28And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose

And The Lord knows I love Him sooo it is all good right?

no matter what...

So this next week keeping my eyes focused on Him ...and not on what ails me ---

School is IN!

the last of the first day of school pics for my boys... Senior year--
and Jenni's first year of HS...wow -


Well summer is over the school year has began...
back into a schedule ....well sorta...LOL with Volleyball and band and practice and homework all for Jenni and then work and girlfriends for the boys,,,LOL that is about as normal as it gets... I guess...

it is nice to have my house back today finally....after the 1/2 days for the boys --and Jenni finally back in...

I am trying to get my foot taken care of get it fixed ,,,of course if it is arthritis then...well I hope there would be meds to make it easier to walk on!

Now it is on to getting the house cleaned and keeping it cleaned!!
at least while the kids are in school!!

sleep

Blessed sleep... in a house of teenagers it seems to be something elusive... I don't know why they say teenagers need the most sleep of anyone...I say teenagers MOM's need the most sleep of anyone.
last night didn't go to bed until midnightish then someone Jeremy was out of the house at 6 am -- he didn't get permission so now I am up grrrrrr

teenagers and toddlers I swear they are the same personalities...
my toddlers (the boys) never slept... they wanted to do it themselves (Independence) they talked among themselves often plotting things ( yup still doing that.) they fight over toys..( the truck and the gas in it is just a bigger toy)
Twin boys HA HA HA God... thanks so much ...

Restless - hungry

Restlessness fills my soul
hunger deep down gnawing a hole
like a junkie needing my next fix
I look through the cupboards for a healthy mix
of something sweet and something chewy
something chocolaty and gooey
But stopping myself in the knick of time
don't want to face the mother of all diet crimes
hiding and eating stuffing my face
eating things just for a taste
eating junk yet not filling me whole
when it is Jesus I need He is the food for my soul

starting over

I hate starting over...
it is awful....

So maybe I shouldn't look at it as starting over... maybe the Lord can give me a new attitude about it ,...

South Beach... yeah... I know I was doing weight watchers but darn it all I am not any good at counting points...

So back to the beach...even tho summer is almost over...LOL

I still have my SB chili it is in the freezer as we speak..read ..write...whatever... anyway I have been making that all along so it is just more work but not a lot more...
I can do this ... I lost what...65 pounds 71 ponds a few years ago and that was then when I was still dealing with a lot.,.,.SO now I think I can do it ...
but not alone...no never alone...only me and Jesus
He is my life guard on this beach!! LOL

OK so there I have made the public statement...
I am going to the beach and jumping in...ahhh Mon yeah Mon...LOL
no swimming tonight or Sun ...
OK ---

I can do this
Thru Him all things are possible...
right???

OUCH!

ok ok whatever ...SUNBURN is bad...sun screen is good....

yes that is the difference in my collarbone skin...ouch! I know stupid....

but it was so nice by the pool in the sun in the water the cool blue shimmery water.,.. no I don't seem very remorseful do I?? LOL I probably will later on tonight ...after this aloe aftersun junk wears off...man I hope I don't peel...the funny thing is the sun really makes my hair look whiter...LOL man I think I am too old for this!! LOL

sun shine addiction

I love the sun.,..I know I know it is bad thing to do ...with skin cancer and all but ...I love the sun... I have the choice to swim at the Benedictine center today OR go to Madeline's and swim...in the sun ... and swimming at Benedictine is really swimming like laps -- at Madeline's it is a 3 ft circle pool...OH it is big,,,but come one no real exercise.,.. but lovely sun....LOL

OK maybe I will do Benedictine and come home and do laundry then go to Madeline's... yeah maybe that will work.... LOL

to get my sun fix in the cool of the pool is awesome!!!

If I had been skinny I would probably be dead from skin cancer by now...
not that fat girls can't tan ...but I woulda probably pushed harder for a pool...of our own...and then of course a pool boy......

Our Fathers love is extravagant

Our Fathers love is extravagant
His Love is exceptional
His Grace is magnificent
the things He does for us is unimaginable in human standards He loved us before we even were - He loves the thought of us - think about that one... We love our children - our spouses but do we love unconditionally? Like HE does?

Here's a thought eyebrows....
Jenni and I went to Shari's for eyebrow waxing and Jenni was like wow eyebrows are weird these random patches of hair on our faces...how weird that God gave us these and Gracie was like yeah but Jen think how funny we look without them...

See God is extravagant to give us eyebrows...to brake up that whole expanse of skin between our eyes and our hairlines... it gives us in site into peoples moods their thoughts eyebrows up in surprise or furrowed down in anger - my dog even has eyebrows... think about that ...LOL
eyebrows....WOW..........LOL

anxious

inside I feel all anxious - tense
feeling like I have caused offense
shoulders and neck all knotted and tight
inside I am getting ready for a fight
I need to rely on Jesus - my Lord
That on Calvery His blood poured
To give me freedom from the chains that bind
to remenber I have left all of THAT life behind

are you in the 83% or the 17% ??

How do people survive without Jesus? How do people with Jesus commit the acts that they do and call themselves Christian?
the news just had a report that "Nearly across the board, the majority of religious Americans believe many religions can lead to eternal life: mainline Protestants 83 % belive that there are many ways to heaven... read the whole story....http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,370588,00.html

ok mainline protestants... thats most of all whom I know ...that means those 83 % are not going to heaven
you gotta believe that Jesus is who He said He was ...and what He said is truth to call yourselves a Christian .... our pastor preached on this report and how in Numbers 13 & 14 (read it for yoyrself...) --12 went out to look at the Land that God --GOD mind you had promised them and only 2 Josh and Caleb came back with a good report like hello ...God sent them out to see this -- God said it is good who ARE these people who don't think God is right?? well all but 2 felt like God couldn't be right that they knew better and as it ended up only 2 got to see the new land hummm is this a lesson for us ---in the math world (so Pastor Dan preached...) these 2 from 12 = 17%...so that means 83% believed something else about the Land God had given them....and they ended up not getting to live there... Sounds to me like History is repeating its self...So question remains where are you? Are you in the 83% that thinks there are many ways to heaven or the 17 % that believes Jesus is the only way?? makes for a startling revelation that Heaven aint gonna be so crowded...

freedom

Today is 4th of July Freedom day.. for America -
yet Christ set us free already! Don't get me wrong I love the freedom we have in America I couldn't imagine being -living anywhere else ...(hello lots to be said for our wonderful flushie toilets as opposed to holes in the floor...!)
but it hit me last night watching the fire works at BG park ... they were awesome and in my mind they were linked to Christ setting me free.

John 8:34Jesus replied, "I tell you the truth, everyone who sins is a slave to sin. 35Now a slave has no permanent place in the family, but a son belongs to it forever. 36So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.
isn't Jesus AWESOME! what He did for us -I think the fireworks shoukd be for Him!

I am so thankful for what our soldiers have done in getting our country's freedom I am sad at how we use it -- the sinful life that we live how we support sin with our tax dollars like abortions ect..So while our Country is free from tyranny we are still a country that is enslaved in sin.

So tonight if you are watching fireworks or next time you see a big show -- when it gets to the grand finally think of what Jesus did for us and say WOW! Thank you Jesus -

Dentists

dentists - dentistry - drills - shots -pain - hands in your mouth -mind numbing fear- people with masks breathing down -eyes of compassion- eyes of determination to get the job done- cold bloody water seeping down your throat- rinse- spit- terror - madness - can't breathe -gotta leave -splitting
or
holding Jesus hand -feeling His strength -seeing His compassion His Love his Mercy to stand in the gap for me - peace - calm - breathing - He is here with me in me He is my strength He is my everything,.peace

Happy Anniversary...23 years

This is Scotts Fav picture of me in the dress...the morning of our wedding at my Dad's I had only been up a few minutes Susi -mom wanted me to put on the dress...So here it is I remember I didn't even have my contacts in totally blind!! LOL

Scott and Me....

ok Wow I know I look very different! LOL it is the hair right>????

there are some funny things here... Scott had his beard and all but the week before our wedding he shaved it off! I was like whatttttttttt?? Anyway his reasoning was he might not have it when we had kids and how confused they would be... LOL He has not been without it since!

And my dress it was a wedding dress rental ...it was all vail and dress

$ 65.00 and we ended up getting top keep it because the gal had sold the shop and they didn't want the inventory... I remeber I wore a size 13 and the dress tho was an 18 I was a bit mad about that! but when she zipped the 16 I thought the zipper was gonna blow!! $65.00 ..WOW considering my niece spent $900.00 on a dress...well her dad did....LOL

ok well 23 years.. I wish I had the same body but am glad I am not the same person. peoples... LOL

Amazingly exceptional....

God is amazingly exceptional
My mouth can not speak the Love I have for Him
My eyes can not take in the Glory of Him
My heart explodes with Love for Him
My hands ache to be at work for Him
My ears long to hear these words from Him
Well done good and faithful servant.
ks2008
This day I am full of wonder at all He does for us ...

God is never average but always exceptional...
As Christians shouldn't we follow His example of excellence
and STOP being average???

BE STILL AND KNOW....

How many times do you have to break

before you are fully broken?

How many faces does repentance take

before it becomes a mere token ?

How many times do you have to hear the words

before you realize it is God who has spoken?

BE STILL AND KNOW I AM GOD...say's He....

how cute is this??

the boys and the girlfriends went to Kings Island yesterday got this picture taken...I just love that they the boys dressed alike........
Click on picture to make it bigger..
Jeremy -Morgan -Lauren- Joshua

letting go of the control

So what Do we control anyway??
not much I am thinking So why do we try and hold on to it (control) so tightly? Our fingers wrapped securely white knuckled at times around something that is an illusion CONTROL - like smoke and mirrors it looked one way until the smoke clears and you find you are seeing something else.
This illusion of control is in so many areas of our lives and reality we can control very little - this last couple of weeks here in Indy there has been storms & tornado's we can not control the wind there are people who do not live in flood plane areas yet are in 5 foot of water how do you control the wind or the rain?? We do not - only God does... and children we raise them up we teach them whats right and whats not - yet they walk out the door pretty as you please and do what it is they want to do with little regard to your "control" over them SOOO why do we even think we have control ? How do you just let go release those fingers one by one and laying back in the knowledge that God is in control .

fire sky & Jesus

pretty purple and orange sky.............

thought Jesus was coming - seriously went out listened for the trumpets ....

no trumpets no Jesus on the clouds just orange fire sky....

back to work Christians ...

thoughts

well after swimming 53 miles I got a swim lesson today I told the life guard I won't probably ever learn Spanish and I grew up as a swim rat and I have never been able to do the water breathing/not breathing thing as a swimmer always had to hold my nose to go under once under I am good to go it is just getting there ... and the swimming across I keep my head up outta the water not so efficient ...
well today I started it I still can't quite do both as in swim and keep the breathing in and not not breathing in 1/2 the pool! ...but hey I did do it a few times and I didn't die whooo hooo!

the sky is dark and cloudy and my brain is too
my heart is full of cloudy gloomy rumblings

I feel moody and dark and want to live in an old Victorian house above the crashing sea..with 10 cats (keeping in mind that I don't particularly even LIKE cats!) and a wood burning fireplace and books to read and chocolate cake to eat . nobody comes except the grocer boy to bring mail and supplies...of course I would get no mail coz I would be that crazy lady up on the cliffs in the old Victorian mansion

been typing some lessons some teachings and such and not getting some of the principles . like life doesn't revolve around me well duh and why not?? LOL I do love Jesus life revolves around Jesus and I don't get in that ever so practical way HOW I am not supposed to get involved emotionally in life when life involves my emotions...where do you draw the line at it isn't your fault? And admit when it is?

unaltered life can be so confusing... good but confusing...are you confused yet?

June 2, 08 ~ lovin Jesus

Can I just say here that I love Jesus??
Seriously ...He is awesome and the grace and the love that He shows us His compassion and mercy is tremendous...
typing up some notes and well all I can say is wow thank you Jesus.

I see the world and it's craziness
I sometimes join in I must confess
my heart grieves for the things I do & see
My soul yearns for the day it will be free
away from this world full of darkness and sin
the day my soul joins with Jesus is the day true life begins!

it's not right to be not right...

Jenni - Lauren -Anna -Alex -(kindergarten play )

it's not right to be not right...
that would have had a whole different meaning to me 5 years ago... out of pride I ALWAYS wanted to be right (and hey I usually was ...LOL) now tho it is about being right with God-- with Jesus Christ my Savior and Redeemer - this world thinks so totally different about stuff. do what you want do what feels good live for the now ... you are your own inner light bla bla bla sometimes I think we have tumbled into the Land of OZ only to find Oprah behind the curtain. of course being a mom is like being in OZ most days all in the same day I am the wicked witch enforcing the rules - the good witch who makes everything right when it is all going wrong -the scare crow who needs a brain coz everyone knows we parents know nothing -the cowardly lion afraid to face whats next the tin man who needs a heart surly anyone with a heart knows that boyfriends should spend 24/7 with the girl friends... and Dorothy who just wants to tap her heels and go home where there is warm cookies and cold milk she didn't have to get for herself. and an Auntie Em to wash the plate and cup...

being right with the Lord...ahhh now that is golden.. the emerald city all shiny and at it's best - it is that great big lolly pop from the lolly pop kids.. it is Cotton candy flowers and chocolate rivers... humm now it is sounding more like willy wonka... anyway

God is God and I am not...could be my first tattoo...

I may be going to School ... but I haven't checked with the Lord if that's what He is thinking... after my being off course I am thinking I better sit back on course for a min before seeking His wisdom on it., BUT make no mistakes it will be HIS wisdom I seek before I jump I still don't feel like He would bless anything I would do right this min with so much still left to wrap up ..
typing and such..

and here's a random thing I miss my poetry-- Lord could I have that one back?? maybe without the pain?
I need to find that ONE thing I do well and explore doing it.
Oz.the land of OZ where things are not always as they seem. ...watch out for the peddler guy with all his wears in the back of his wagon to distract you and watch out for those those evil flying monkeys......

my kids... Love them!

wedding pictures