change and growth

you know life is all about change and growth -- if you are not changing and growing then you are dead...LOL
Christian life is all about changing and growing - changing in Christ - growing in Him ..
are you seeing that change and growth in your life?

Are you in Bible study- in the word daily can people tell your God's girl or boy by the way you live or are they quite surprised at the end of the day to find out you are a Christian? I am thinking if they are surprised then someday when your "called up yonder..." you may be the one surprised. and that is scary! People think oh we got time Jesus isn't coming today... He won't come in MY life time 2 things wrong with that ! we do not know when the END of our life time is and we don't know when Jesus is coming back. so don't be dressed wrong for the surprise party people... get up every day go to bed every night in the Gospel clothing of Christ and live each day knowing your dressed in Him and covered by His grace His mercy.
And on that note it's time for me to go to Him seek His wisdom -
signed Kim ---God's girl

Silly Rabbit....... Easter is for Jesus!!

Its not about the baskets with the candy eggs inside
Nope the Easter Bunny has nothing to do with why my jesus died
It isnt about the new dress or the shiny pretty new shoes
It was about following His Fathers will and Jesus got to choose
It's not about the Easter gatherings of family and good friends
Nope that's not the reason His life had to come to a horrable end
It's not about Chocolate bunnies or jellybeans or peeps
it's all about God's salvation plan for us to be His for keeps
So have fun with your Easter basket and with your fine new clothes
Just understand the cost and reason of why on Calvery His blood flows
It's for each and everyone of us to join Him in a Glorious Heavenly end
It's to celebrate the wonderous day when Jesus rose again!
KimShepherd2011

Retreat weekend

went to the OA retreat this weekend it was good - it was fun and great to connect with people. my OA thing is God putting me out in the world.... example-- a guy there was in loud conversation with another guy about God... and people -more specifically CHRISTIANS...trying to convert him...he apparently was born Jewish and wants to argue the whole - how can it be truth that you have to know Jesus to get into heaven.what about all those who died before Jesus was born.....well derr... read the Bible those like Abraham and Noah and David and lots of other people understood what was written and the messianic promise ... oh wait AND there was the whole sacrificial thing going on. you know dove cow chicken...ok anyways ... the funny part of his conversation was ,....He told the man he was talking to.. that he was trying to convince the friend of his who was evangelising that he didn't believe and the Bible was not written by Gods hand the only thing EVER to be written by Gods hand....is the 10 commandments... uhhh yeahhhh I am thinking ---- how do you know about that were you there ? is there pictures oh oh wait you KNOW because SOME man wrote it down in the BIBLE!!! LOL So how do you believe THAT part of man writing it down and not the rest??? ahhhh it has been so long since I was out in the WORLD away from my Christian friends - it is a challenge and I guess that's why He has put me there. Gotta love my Jesus!!!

6 months food sobriety

yup I am at the 6 months mark...of no sugar no compulsive eating...how has it changed my life?

hummm that's a great question and what I can see is some of the craziness that comes from sugar highs and lows is gone that the numbed out feeling when a crisis comes a knocking is gone and left in it's place is the emotions of life.

the feelings that I thought would surly kill me now pop up with regularity and splash across my life with big drips of color- blue for sadness~ orange for pain ~red for anger ~pink for embarrassment~ purple for happiness and black for depression ~gray for shame ~

my rainbow of feelings comes softly at times and in torrents like a hard thunderstorm at others ... sometimes it is quiet and hardly noticeable and at other times the colors of life's feelings leave me shaking and scared ...what color is fear ? yellow maybe ...not like a coward but yellow like fire -yellow molten fire like the sun- fear that burns my life..fear of failure, fear of not being enough, fear of whats next in my life. yellow should be a happy color instead it is the color of molten fire because the way a fire feeds on the kindling and wood is how fear feeds on my life it starts out small and can rage in minutes. Taking away my peace my serenity.

6 months of food sobriety ...6 months of handling life's pains and joys and sorrows without food to buffer the feelings.

6 months of food sobriety ...it is good.

His Amazing Grace

Wow how can you use human words to describe His amazing Grace to us? Jesus is my everything it has taken me a long time to get that - My heart is full of the Love He has for us the healing He has given me the tracks in my life He has put me on... Last night at a meeting well afterwords - a gal was really hard on the anyone talking Jesus at a meeting that since God is in the big book she wont say nothing about that but it is a pinch to her to have anyone else mentioned... well Here's the thing missy....I can't ever talk about my great progress in program without mentioning Jesus HE is my Lord and my Savior... Program is good but God and Jesus are GREAT!!! LOL

humility

yeah this sucks ...no really ...I have been craving sugar craving candy thinking about some cookies thinking it is ok to have one- a bite- a box...and thats when you have to stop and say whats up .... And whats up is step 9 --- and making amends-- it takes humility to understand the pain you have caused in someone else while in your own compulsion -your own disease....now coz it is a disease you think you might feel hey I couldn't control it ... no I couldn't and I also couldn't control the things that went on in my early life that helped feed this disease... BUT the pain that my disease has put on others namely my husband and kids...well even tho it is a disease and all I still have to take responsibility and apologize...make amends to those I have hurt..while being in the food. Being in the food gives you a warped perspective of the world ...you are in your food world the hiding of food the stashing the sneaking the emotions you don't have because good or bad they are numbed with the food . where the humility comes in is you see I have some idea of how this disease has hurt my family...but not what their feelings are where have they been hurt what pain has this caused them? And I have no control over what they may say or how it may hurt me and worst is i can not go back and change things... what am i hoping for? that they will say oh mom you were great nothing of your disease touched us...ha I know thats not truth so guess I have to put on my big girl panties and suck it up and get on with it can't be stuck on step 9 for the rest of my life...gotta keep moving .....................

whack a mole....

yeah at the meeting today reading out of the 12& 12 - 4th step-- the sentence was (paraphrased...) we have to change our thinking during emotional events in our lives and how we are going to react to them...
And God gave me a picture of my life before was kinda like that whack a mole game and I was the mole the emotional events ~ were the club...So i would stick my head up and whack right in the head with the club of lifes emotional events and I could not control it no matter where I popped up~ whack again...now in recovery and thru my Dave counseling but ok mostly thru Jesus -I see with JESUS - I got a helmet on now ...ha I STILL can not control these emotional whacks they hit when they hit but with MY JESUS ARMOR on I am protected...
So still playing the Whack a mole game of life but with a helmet on!! hahaha

The true costs of this disease

you know people think well eating disorder once you get it knocked out you just start saving money right and left - not eating so much has to help the budget right? And yes it does but the true costs of this disease is staggering. this is gonna get kinda graphic so hang on....

because of the disease- I have spent countless dollars on diets and dieting things none of the "programs" were cheap- from optifast to hospital programs to weight watchers again and again .Jenny craig ...there was the gastric banding surgery in 97...then the surgery in 2006 to correct the problem (the band broke ) the scopes to diagnose it the xrays the CT scans the toxic radioactive food swallow stuff to check food flow... the new scopes to fix the scar tissue and now tomorrow another scope once again because the scar tissue is closing the hole - (the hole is the part that the ring was around to restrict the food flow you see the staple line is still in bedded in my stomach the ring that broke and sent me into atrial fib (yup ATRIAL FIB from this disease....CRAZY ) is now gone but that area of my stomach wants to close up which in turn makes eating solid foods hard to digest because they go nowhere... funny thing about our stomachs they are not made to digest food in the upper quadrant ...the high blood pressure the Diabetes .. the meds... the Cpap machine ....
of course the ugly part of this disease of mine was the bulimia...fix a meal or buy a meal eat until full then throw it up ..sometimes to eat more ..how many steak dinners were flushed I have no idea... I do know doing that ruined my teeth so now they have been fixed- and 4 pulled - replaced with expensive implants... all in the name of Food addiction -

and people think I just like to eat...really? I do not like it really but I want it I crave it and at times in my life I thought I needed it~ needed it to make me whole~ needed it to comfort me
~needed it to see me thru~ needed it to hurt me ---

this is the crazy life of addiction it moves in and takes over your life until it is destroyed,,,,

Praise Jesus that I am getting free of this .

the down side is the costs are still adding up the consequences are still there ...

HA!

Yeah...you know I hate it when you keep trying to not hear the message that God is giving you because you want the message that you want to follow... see in this life in OA I have been trying grumbly mumbly about a few things one of them is my sponser- wha wha wha I don't think she is there for me like I want her to be yeah well what I am hearing from God is to stop it stop searching I knew she my sponser was HIS choice for ne abd I think the reason why is actually her lack of time ...see I am a compulsive person and I would lean wayyy to much on someone to hve them give me what HE the Lord should be giving me it goes back to the Jesus needs to be my everything not food not sponser not programm JESUS same old message Kim ...and I guess I better be getting it The Lord has let me out of the trunk and into the backseat with Him leading me if I ever expect to make it to shotgun...I better lean on HIM for my EVERYTHING!

I also was thinking about trying to go to Celebrating recovery instead of Over eaters Annon. Why>? coz people are not Christians...well ok I have controlled my life pretty well these last 20 years or so I don't hang with people I don't like I don't hang with people of different values then mine I am pretty much all the time in a Christan environment. EXCEPT at OA...yeah those lost people call God their HP... HP to me is my printer ..oh I also had an HP camera once...higher power whom they chose to call...soda pop or whatever...seriously? His NAME IS God or I AM or
Yahweh- He wrote it down for us... come on people - anyway I am getting the message thru events and sermons and such that God isn't letting me out of OA coz there are not many Christians...nope HE is keeping me there because there are not many Christians... go figure...
So this success of mine is not mine it isn't through the power of some vague higher power nope my success is thru GOD the one and only ...Ok I am slow but I get it God...I am getting it loud and clear.
ha and for the record everytime I have written Christian I have to sing the "I am a C "song to spell it right! See it isn't on my own abilities I succeed it is thru God and only thru Him I get anything done!!

NO...I didn't fall off the edge of the world...LOL

wow it has been forever since I wrote anything and actually I am doing pretty well...
Went to the cardiac doctor today and she was very happy at my 30 pound weight loss.
Yup thats right 30 pounds gone not fast pounds not regular pounds nope these are DOCTOR pounds...meaning on HER scales from when I was there 6 months ago I am 30 pounds lighter. Now we women understand the significance in Dr pounds vs reguler pounds and fast pounds vs real pounds....
Fast pounds are the 5 pounds of water weight you lose on the 1st week of weight watchers...
Doctor pounds is when the doctor scales show the same loss as your scales at home - this is significant becasue we all know at home we weight naked after we have emptied our bodies of every thing we can and certanly before we have filled them with any sort of "light" meal...LOL
Dr pounds are usually done in the hall way at the office with all our clothes on tho usually not our shoes... and those clothes are usually well chosen...light weight clothing not chosen for weather (tho today is a nice day!>>> ) but chosen for weight...LOL and at home we have adjusted the little needle thing probably to be just "this" side of the "0" you know the left side...LOL
real pounds are those hard lost pounds those pounds of fat sweated off suffered thru ....the life style changed meals and the hard pounding of the feet.... REAL pounds...

Things I am leaning 2011

Wow it has been quite a journey these last few years - but especially this last year of being -admitting- surrendering to this addiction of food-So some of these revelations have maybe been mentioned in other past blogging of mine but here they are in totality ...

~*~My feelings won't kill me! yes that is truth I used to be under the grand illusion that if IF I would let myself feel the horror the sadness the pain of MY life I would surly die. That's right my own arrogance suggested that I hold a corner on pain and my pain must be much bigger then most so never ever feel it! And whats a legal way to not feel it? FOOD! Yeahhh wrong,

~*~I need to : A)accept the things I can not change and B) accept that there ARE things I can not change! like say what? I always thought that I had the power to change things that my juggling of feelings family relationships whatever that once again my arrogance allowed me to think I was all powerful ( of course when things went crazy outta control I would eat coz surly my feelings would kill me!

~*~that my cereal bowls are too big...yup you read it right - it was amazing while my Aunt Myra was here she couldn't get over how big our dishes are she wouldn't even use our "big" bowls for her cereal she used the little one cup dessert bowls... Ha who ever thought to measure your dishes ...so in our current dishes to say I had a bowl of cereal means I am REALLY having
2 1/2 servings.. I didn't set out to buy big dishes...but never thought it was odd either..hence the reason I am looking for another set of dishes with smaller sizing. And sadly enough it is difficult.

~*~ I still eat way too fast. Never once has anyone ever taken my food away from me- people in my life may not have liked the amounts or types of food I have eaten but no one has ever taken it from me! yet I eat like any minute now someone will snatch it away- slow down actually chewing my food will probably help my digestive problems!!

~*~ That 16 people do not need 3 ginormous pumpkin pies from Sams club plus other various desserts at Thanksgiving! OK this sounds funny but really I had to call my friend and get a reality check on this one -I had the panicked feeling that oh my gosh we might run out of pumpkin pie- of course I forgot I wasn't eating it - see the formula before was 1 pie was mine -yes it was. the 2nd one we the Family gathered at our tables would eat and the 3rd one would be our left over pie of which I would eat 1/2 of, so yeah we DID used to need 3 pies to ensure anyone else getting any pie!

~*~ that a smallish baked potato is one serving! I know right? ! I was getting out potato's the other night and for the 3 of us I thought maybe I should fix 4 why? so we will have enough! ENOUGH yeah then the Lord opened my eyes to see baked potato's at dinner are a side dish just like green beans or corn. I used to fix JUMBO bakers ! yes as a side dish . WOW no wonder the regular sized looked like it wasn't enough ( probably needed the jumbo ones to fill up the too big plates!!) I have never fixed 2 cans of green beans so there would be enough for the 3 of us!

~*~Natural Sugar from health food store is still SUGAR! Yeah trying to fool my body into thinking stuff like whey low made from milk is not sugar,.,,well unfortunately my body and mind sees it as sugar. And really if I use that whey low or "natural" sugar in a cake I STILL want to face plant and eat the whole thing . I am powerless over sugar! Powerless over food -period the end.

~*~that there has NEVER been anything too sweet or too rich for me to eat a lot of it! yes it has amazed me over the years to see a normal eater take a bite of something and say ohhh wheee that's too rich for me! uh really ? I'll eat it yours - mine -the whole pan! I love love love it the sweeter the richer the better!! If it is too sweet or too rich then you are an amateur!

~*~That I can live on 3 meals a day! shocking I know! wow I was amazed that it can work that way I was convinced as a diabetic there was NO WAY I would ever -EVER be able to do the 3 meals a day thing! And yes some days I need to have a snack to keep my Blood sugar up but there have been actual days where just 3 meals (3 regular meals!) have worked! who knew!! I always figured I NEEDED to mainline food all day to live!!

~*~Feeling full is NOT a signal to eat more! OK OK I know this sounds like well duh... but really for me feeling full either means throw up ( you know so you can eat more yes food addicts do this. it is all about control) or oh my gosh feeling satisfied better eat more coz if you are not feeling discomfort then there must be something wrong. Only addicts think that feeling like CRAP is a good thing. Eating until you are miserable drinking until you black out taking enough drugs to pass out - it is all about making a pain large enough to cover the pain you are currently feeling. You know feeling so full I gotta unbutton my pants =I no longer care about the betrayal in my heart.

~*~ Food is NOT the cure for physical pain. CRAZY I know but when my body hurts I eat- yes I am one of those people who never EVER lost weight with the flu- makes me crazy to hear someone say I was so sick and lost 3 pounds...please! I get sick and gain 5pounds! today my throat hurts all I want to do is eat -surly there is something here food wise that will make it better. I have a surgery -I think I need food for recovery. As a food addict I think food is the cure for everything that hurts. It is crazy to eat your pain away but that's what we try to do.

~*~ Normal people think they must eat dinner before eating something sweet - OK this one knocked me over we had a thing at church and Julie comes into the reception and I say hey want a piece of cake and she says...(wait for it...) NO thanks I haven't had dinner yet. ...yeah ..no really that's what she said and my thinking was SO?WHAT? you see she is a normal eater in a normal sized body who sees food as nutrition so for her she needed to eat good stuff before indulging in sweets to keep her body healthy ! WOW I really wanted to trap her and study her like a bug under a microscope. I mean REALLY pass up cake because theres some meat and veggies waiting somewhere?? My kind of thinking is eat a piece now and take one for later after dinner! But never woulda thought to wait!

OK this is all for now I am sure the Good Lord has more things for me to learn. And let me say these lessons are huge for me - and I hope for other addicts out there.
And I know I am being funny with it but there is real stuff here that I am learning real truths here for me.

snow dayz

well it has been crazy here with snow and ice -tomorrow 'Friday Jen goes back to school with a one hour delay! strange- but there ya go the parking lot is icy the sidewalks too should be interesting! I am not letting Jen drive . Today I worked out in the driveway! chipping and scooping the 1-2 inches of ice it was hard work! My arms are going to be so tired tomorrow .
My food has been good thru this time of being home bound. Mostly because there is not anything here in the house then because I have any power over it. After all I am powerless over food! (Step one....)

I have been making some phone calls still juggling with sponsor issues -

my sister Courtney has been calling I guess her son is in jail again - JD...he stole beer he is on parole and 18...yeahhh not good. Courtney called me because she was afraid she was gonna die in the big historic storm- unfortunately she doesn't accept God well ...so all I told her was turn of the weather channel. I so shoulda told her to trust and rely on Jesus. Next time irregardless of the reception.

lets see... anything else?
nope guess not - I know God is good to get us all safely thru these storms of nature and even better to get us thru the storms of life!

HARD LIFE OF ADDICTION

yeah all in caps... that's how I feel like screaming to the world it's not fair it's not right! I wanna be able to eat the candy and sweets I crave- to be able to eat candy and sweets I want to bathe myself in the sweet smell and texture of the Hershey's chocolate kiss...To be freaking honest I crave that kiss more then any lovers kiss.. The sweet satisfaction that comes in that first bite - the ethereal high that comes in the eating of a bar the numb high that comes from eating a whole bag of kisses...

I am whining I know I am fighting this craving that I don't understand where it has come from - what feelings am I stuffing down that's brought this craving to the top?
Am I sad ? am I happy? am I insecure ? Am I angry? Isn't it just a bit CRAZY that I can not name the feeling yet I can name the cure?
Maybe it is just another burst of acceptance I am feeling and that's what is triggering this crave...acceptance as Valentines creeps slowly closer that this candied holiday for lovers is not going to find it's way to my lips. I
Am I fighting the acceptance that I am an addict -addicted to sugar hard to comprehend? Hard to swallow?
My favorite reading in the Voices of recovery is April23rd...in part it says...I know that God would never hand me anything that would harm me or poison my life.Only the disease does that. Only the disease tells me that poison is a treat.
and that's where I am at today wanting so badly to eat of the poison - someone might say oh Kim that's extreme thinking one or two little Hershey's kisses won't kill you but yes it will because that's the deal it will never be one or two it will end with me losing big time in this life battle of Diabetes and heart disease because it is NEVER EVER just one or two ,it is always ONE BAG OR TWO

Just for today I choose to stay out of the poision.

weekend retreat

Had a great time this weekend at our Scrapbooking retreat! it was awesome to spend time with good friends doing the fun stuff we love!
I got jen's book almost done for 2008 - my room down here in the basement is all cleaned up so I need to un pack and get the book finished!!

I realized that I am missing those times we used to go away to the trailer and to those tournament weekends where I used to sit and crop pictures! None of my pics were cropped or ready ...SO this year I need to get back to that!! cropping those pics I could also come up with title pages too !

I really utilized the cricut this weekend so thats great too...

ok - on my back issue my pain is going back up today my feet are numbish and I an feel the burn a bit in my butt... not sure if it is cause I partially carried stuff and lifting it in and out of car - I truly didn't do a lot ...this morning tho - last night I could feel it was aggrivated...

YAY ME

Yup a yay me post my blog I can say what I like right??!! I got my 90 days food sobriety yesterday 1/11/11 and the back nerve pain is virtually gone at least I am not feeling it! The blood sugar thing may be balancing itself back out now so that would rock too!!

I did the 2 mile high calorie burn walking tape today it has been ages since I did that one -and standing up no longer kills me -which is quite helpful in life to be able to stand up!!
I did go see Brian tho he looked over my MRI and he says absolutely no surgery he said my pedicules are shorted then they are supposed to be it is congenital ( the MRI report said this ) he showed me what that is and that surgery cant really help that... it is like that down my back so really the best thing I can do for this is get this weight off,,,,ok thats what I am doing here!! LOL

This weekend is the scrapbooking weekend and last time we went swore those girls off of sugar then i went and bought big bag of chocolate thats not gonna happen this time!!
so i am going to sit and plan my meals and commit them to my sponsor
thats all I got ..and yeah I am still in yay me mode!!! LOL

it's GREAT when they GET IT!

wow it is good to know -to see when your family GET'S IT!
my dad called me to tell me he was giving his old computer to my brother but he wanted me to know he has had the hard drive scrubbed and actually uninstalled XP and had win 7 installed... WOW thats so huge to me- I know my dad loves me no doubt but didn't always think he got what our stand is with Rick in this thing. BUT he gets it . Yay!!! And yes I felt loved and cherished like a daughter.
maybe I should write him and tell him,,,,yes I think I shall.
My mom on the other hand does not get it and probably never will and yes I know she loves me too but sadly she has never gotten it.

I go for and epidural for my back on Monday a little nervous I have told them about the epinephrine thing and to please not use the lidocaine with epi ...we will see how it goes... I am thinking it is gonna be painful!!
Keeping my eyes on Jesus - meanwhile back at the ranch with little pain meds ( I can't take any NASAIDS= my day pro) it is pain as usual only ramped up a bit!!!

I am keeping my food abstinent and that is whats important here!

Well well well

yeah .got an MRI done on my back and ta da I got some issues...and whats crazy is the pain is the same as it was a month ago but acceptance of the problem makes it hurt a little more...crazy huh?

I will be calling a spine doc to see about some pain relief and what to do about the herniated discs ...... Some of the junk is just gonna be there,

We have had a really great Christmas season and now it is the new year 2011...wow
life has come a long way. Who knew I would be an old lady of 50 with a kid married another one engaged,,,and so on! Who knew that my damaged heart and crazy emotions would be healed by the Lord and that my addiction would be getting handled one day at a time. God is so good in all He does for us and we so do not deserve it,

Tomorrow is Christmas with the Hinshaws,.... my mom and Aunt Sandy uncle George and my kids, Aunt Sandy is not doing so well in the memory dept. she called me 5 times in 30 min to discuss plans... sighhh sad thing really
and Morgan and I had a talk and while we are celebrating her Birthday (which is Dec 26th ) tomorrow I am having her pick her own day for a 1/2 Birthday celebration and we will celebrate her Birthday then!! She seemed agreeable to it.

ok well thats all I got -

Vulgarity

I am sick of it -Vulgarity. Oh they try and keep it civil keep it funny you know "Little Fockers",,, REALLY?
Seriously why not just say it? Ohh oh people would complain to the FCC...well why are we not complaining about implied vulgarity??
It goes back even to the Herbal Essence shampoo - hello the orgasm in the shower? From washing hair?? I am sure I could come up with a million such examples...

sad sad world we live in Lord Jesus could you come back soon?

can I ever be normal about food?

been thinking which is fairly dangerous...
it has been difficult this season of family and food and cookies and thoughts of family and fudge and me not making any- me not eating any- me not being in my usual sugar high blackout... yeah -it is so different when you have to face feelings and events head on and not have the buffer of the food. To feel that slap of pain in your heart and to NOT have the comfort of food . Christmas is the time of year to be ever so Thankful of Jesus birth our savior born a baby - to celebrate Gods promise to us written so many years before the event that took place in Bethlehem - to see His promise to us and follow it thru the chapters of His Holy word is absolutely amazing.
Now back to the question can I ever be normal when it comes to food? No probably not - in OA they believe that addicts have an allergy to sugar ...and that the allergy is what triggers for us an overwhelming urge to keep eating that which is not good for us. And along with the allergy there is also a mental obsession God can and will relieve that mental obsession but most likely we will always have an allergy-- I can say I have been relieved of the mental obsession as long as I stay out of the sugar and into the word and prayer I am good. But then along with the good comes the thoughts of wow hey maybe theres been a miracle healing and now I can eat the sugar! Of course there hasn't and here's the little clue...when I think of eating the sugary sweet treats of Christmas I am still thinking of the pans full... not the one or two ...I am thinking of the bags of Hershey kisses not just a bite and there in lies the addiction. At church the other night I made that cake and I was so amazed that the "normal" eaters didn't have a piece of cake because they hadn't had their dinner - and that is the difference between an addict and a normal person- it never crosses the addicts mind to have perimeters!
Merry Christmas !

HA ain't life grand?

I'm on my way upstairs in a few to make a cake which by the way i was gonna stop doing...but it is for the purity ceremony tonight at church...figure hey if these girls can pledge to Wait until marriage shoot I can pledge to stay out of the cake batter and the icing and the finished product!

It has been going well ...it being life in food sobriety - I am doing steps 5-7 with my sponsor on Friday -then it is on up the stairs...LOL
been stalled on those steps for a while mostly due to business...not like a job but being busy...LOL

Where is God working on my life...hummm not hard to see He is working EVERYWHERE in my life in just me learning to accept things that happen as things and not major catastrophes...yeahhh ya know it is all just stuff He God is so much bigger then our stuff.. Acceptance of things that in my past would have sent me spinning out of control- mentally emotionally and spiritually now I see them coming and turn my eyes to Him not the stuff coming at me .He is my shade as it says in Isiah - how cool is THAT?

ok well getting ready for Christmas got things to shop for and things to wrap...got things to be Thankful for so got lots to do ...loving my Jesus more and more each day