wow long time no blog!

well so much has happend in the last few weeks! life has been so crazy no time to think! Well both boys have graduated ,,,it was VERY close for Jeremy - wasn't sure he was going to! We got the house painted and the carpet in - still a lot of small things to do besides packing this house -

jen starts drivers ed so today was spent getting her permit and stuff...

we get the bedroom furniture tomorrow so I can get the bedrooms decorated -- So at least that will be done when we move!

Still need to clean out my drawers and closet. here in old house

Almost got the dining room all packed ...sighhh it scares me to pack the good china-- I am so afraid it will get broken,,,

ok well there ya go ...

BUSY

wow so much to do in the next few weeks!
paint colors to choose and a few new things for the house. Thank goodness not too much to shop for -while it would be fun it is also exhausting!

Got the boys graduation thing too ...haven't done much on that other then buying some decorations...LOL


Today tho is mothers day...a break --ha - yeah well some time soon there will be a break!
ok off to Church - love worshipping my Lord!

the new house

it is very exciting we got the keys yesterday - now the fun begins! picking out paint colors -carpeting for the main level , deciding what furniture goes where and what we need to get - new bedding for us and Jen a new crate for molly-- actually not sure where molly is going...LOL this house is so open no little hidden nook for her cage to be tout of the way!
I cant wait to post pics of the house!
after 17 years it will be so weird to go home someplace else!

gotta get the boys graduation invitations out ,,,

so much to do!
LOL

Surrender

John 19:30 When he had received the drink, Jesus said, "It is finished." With that, he bowed his head and gave up his spirit.

Jesus GAVE up His spirit - his job was finished he surrendered all to His Father God and surrendered His life for me.

He Jesus part man part God humbeled Himself and laid down His life for me

No one took it from Him He Bowed His head and gave up His Spirit - it was the right time His job was done - the last thing for Him to do was to BOW His head - and give it up.

His PERFECT obedience

So where is my obedience ...

mom stuff

LOL Oprah is on moms ...funny all these moms telling their worst moments like not giving kids baths everyday...seriously were we supposed to?? And feeding kids school lunch out of snacks n the car...yeahhh did that.went ot Meijers once before the boys kindergarten and since I pay in cash...I used up all the cash and it was time for kindergarten and they had not eaten lunch o we dug thru the groceries for something they could eat on the way to school...so they had poptarts and fruit roll ups LOL talk about sugaring them up!!
One lady used a maxi pad for diapers...we didn't have a diaper once at Red Lobster dinner with the family- so grandma Susi had a depends and I can not remember how we got it to stay on her but we somehow made suspenders and she wore grandmas depends!! LOL

just some funny stuff!

Saturday in the park....think it was the 4th of July...LOL

well I am to July 4th 2002 on the boys books sad really considering I set up on Mon and was starting 2002 - hard to get motivated...not sure why - is it coz they are leaving? Shoot Jeremy is gone ./... I think that was why I couldn't do it before this week it was hard. Maybe it is seeing the family pictures...all the family - I should just say I have not cropped anyone out ...LOL

ok so maybe by the end of the day i can be thru 2002---

maybe by the end of the year I will be thru the end of the year! Current! LOL
probably not tho

Spring Break 2009

well it is Spring break whoop whoop... had lunch with a friend today -started scrapbooking the boys...well got it all out anyway - hard to get it started need my motivation my Carol Chandler...LOL

God is so awesome just want to put that out there.

And even tho life is tough right now --He is my all in all

Love Him

feeling uninvited

wow well this is something I am not sure how I feel about it...
My mom's sister is in town and they were at my house for the girls birthdays ok that's cool...and then I found out last night that there was a get together at Aunt Sandy's ...with my 2 cousins and my bro and his wife and the aunts uncles and my mom...no matter that I am ok with not being where HE is...I am ok with that that is my choice but the fact that ...uhhh no one ever mentioned that it was even happening...Why do I feel like I am the bad one here??
Wouldn't the mature thing be to say =uh we are going to have this get together and are inviting him...just letting you know...since you already say the visiting people --- not a problem.
hummm
of course since Beth has decided she is no longer speaking to me I guess if I woulda been invited she wouldn't have gone...
Sighhhhh life surly doesn't have to be this difficult does it?

The consequences of sin ...suck....and it isn't my sin go figure...

crazy times such as these

So much going on Lord so many questions... it is in you tho Lord that I trust in you I put my life and love ...

Jeremy is probably not going to graduate,... unless he uhhh starts going to school every day and does his work and passes his finals and his teachers decide to give him a passing grade... I can not pray for him to pass ...why should God bless sin?

My sister in law refuses to speak to me any more ... why? Because I am holding her husbands feet to the fire ...? I will not tolerate his actions anymore? I will not put my daughter at risk? Ahh well such is life I have had my counseling my sister is now in hers ...He still won't admit that he has a problem...Seems like she is the one with the problem not me ...

I go to Breast center Doc on April 1st anyone see that as funny?? I do... God is God and I am not ... He has this all in His control and I don't have to worry about it and strangely enough I am not ... hummm learning aren't I? As long as the 2nd biopsy doesn't hurt as much as the first it is all good!

And other things changes in the Shepherd house that are afoot ...
hang on to your hats spring is blowing in ...

Race for the Cure...

Signed up to be on a team from Church...
Gonna walk for the Breast Cancer thing...
All this as I await the biopsy report on my own boob...funny huh?
I am thinking it my biopsy will be ok coz he said he wasn't seeing anything bad..But he wasn't getting a lot of tissue either ..but that's sometimes good...geee I think he was not real definite...LOL
So anyway it oughtta be fun to walk it -figure after the mini last year this oughta be a breeze!


update on the biopsy -- not enough to be definitive so they are referring me to Breast Doc for open insion biopsy yipppeeee huh...

Wrandom Writings.... LOL

Well not been real successful in the weightloss battle... letting the enemy beat me up knock me down and in general steal my health. THAT has got to stop.

I am not in this battle alone. My identity and my strength is in Christ-- He alone is who I need to look at for validation of who I am and if I am living right or not...

Was looking up some stuff and ran across an entry by liberty baptist church about the NIV being off by a long shot...and some of the points they make are very valid ...it is disturbing actually

http://www.libertybaptistchurch.org.au/bookstore/NIVOmissions.pdf

Some of it sounds over the top and a bit paranoid but I see what they are saying that how they are rewording and leaving out stuff could make a point for the other team...the new agers and those who seek to use the Gospel for validating their wrong thinking.

forgetting just WHO God is...

seems I have been forgetting just who God is ...How big HE is that HE is the one in control of my life and I need to just let go and let God... why is it so hard to do that? why is it so darn easy to pick up my SELF and think that i am doing this by MYSELF...that I have any control --
My God is BIG -- HE is mighty --HE is sovereign HE is LORD -- if that is all true to me and in my heart as truth then why am I in despair and discouraged? Why am I letting these dark thoughts of sadness over run my life my time my heart ? Giving into the thoughts of cutting of eating of purging of just wanting to sleep--- this is all old stuff wanting to creep back in this has no place in my life -- not when God is my hope Jesus is my answer to it all.

My boys will do what they will do - the other things in my life with my family will be what it is...deals will come and deals will go all I can control is ME -- my relationship with God the Father with Jesus - I can control when i get up and when I sleep I can control what I eat what I drink I can control if I am exercising - I contol my TV watching and internet use.

I love my kids I am so sad at thier choices in life at this point - BUT God is the same yesterday today and tomorrow He will never let me down becasue even all this bad stuff is small stuff next to HIM to HIS glory HIS mercy HIS love for me . How is it so east for me to let go of all HE has done for me?

Duh Kim ... STOP this insanity and start living the life HE has given.
Jesus hung on that cross so I can be free of all the crap-- so I need to START living a life of freedom.

Crazy Times Such As These...

Oh man life IS... that's all I can say...

I guess I just need to go curl up in the corner
with God... take some time out to reaffirm what is
truly important. Who is in charge (GOD) and whose values rule
GOD's... Why do people think that we know anything?

how does THIS work?

How is it when someone who is the perpetrator against you then against your family now has the gall to blame you for the mess that the perpetrator's life is in?

How does that work? it makes me MAD- he is a creep .

what are my fears about this? I guess it is that I am making a bigger deal out of the situation then needs to be - BUT that is the enemy talking if that was truly the case then my husband would not have made the moves against said perpetrator that he did. Scott is not rash he is not one to make a big deal out of nothing. I guess I need to look at the facts
The facts speak for me
and I just gotta let God deal with him as God sees fit. And even if he gets "away" with junk in this life there will be a judgement day - he will have to pay.

It just makes me angry to see him putting it on me making me the bad guy - sick of it-

today

wow have to do something today that I really do not want to do.
And not sure how to get out of the "ceremony" part of it.
I am praying the Lords protection on me while I am there. And tonight I will pray when I leave there.

Yesterday I got into a conversation with a guy from HS about Jesus he is all into the world religions thing and we should all just get along and there is no Absolute authority uhhh wrong ....LOL I did not get heated in my discussion kept a clear head just did not agree with his views and kept standing on the word of God and Jesus ...well this morning when I got up there was a response from him about hoping to open closed minds and then when i got into facebook i couldn't find him he deleted his account....guess that means he wont be coming to the reunion...huh??

facebook fun....

Been having some fun on FACEBOOK,...
found old high school friends I say old coz we are celebrating our 30th HS reunion...WOW! and yesterday Found an old friend she was my BEST friend in 8th grade- Judy -- we had the best times ! We used to laugh and laugh oh my gosh ...can't think of many people in my life who I had as much fun with!

And keeping in touch with new friends and current friends.

I think it is funny that Jenni will not make me her friend... I think she feels it is intrusive, Oh well...

Ok well thats all for now...

WOW

I have heard some things and it makes me sad-

Things are not always what they seem. ... peoples marriages are only as real as they show them to be.

Because someone sits at a sound board every Sunday in Church doesn't make them a fine upstanding Christian... it maybe makes them a good sound board operator,

my "sister" is broken hearted. But she will get the help she needs to heal her heart- She has told me she will go to a church by where she lives this Sunday -- I am praying there will be a pastor there who can counsel her and help her understand it is HIS problem not her...not her .

As for my brother-- I do not know - my husband has issued a no contact order to him and me I am fine with that.

faith facts feelings

I know faith facts feelings is how I am to base my life...not lead with the feelings thing ...but that is so hard. right now my feelings are shook up stomped on and broken - . I feel like all that I have done these last 10 years is for naught . my boys are living worldly lives so what was / is the point.

I have done well in the weight loss but this last week I have slid backwards not giving into the feelings and eating them

Jeremy moving out so abruptly was like ripping my heart in two- yet it was fast ...Josh on the other hand is like slowly bleeding to death he is just this side of respectful yet I feel like he is already gone mentally emotionally he is gone. And that hurts.
this is February... little over 3 more months of this...
I know it is hard for him with his brother gone --

my head is full of thoughts that can't be spoken -- just keep renouncing those thoughts... it is a spiritual battle being played out here as well as the daily one.

I know I will get thru this ............

happy middle of february...

well here we are the middle of Feb. and the Girl Scout cookies have me surrounded and I have given them a foot hold YIKES!

My attitude has really sucked these last few days about eating... about life and I am done with giving in to THAT! No more say I!

I am so Blessed and it is time I started living like it.

My boys ..well they want to live like the world I guess I can do nothing to stop them .

"...do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.... Abhor what is evil. Cling to what is good." Romans 12:2, 9

"Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world -- the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life -- is not of the Father but is of the world. And the world is passing away, and the lust of it; but he who does the will of God abides forever." 1 John 2:15-17



"Jesus answered, 'My kingdom is not of this world. If My kingdom were of this world, My servants would fight, so that I should not be delivered to the Jews; but now My kingdom is not from here." John 18:36

"If you were of the world, the world would love its own. Yet because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you." John 15:19-20

"Friendship with the world is enmity to God." James 4:4

"Woe to those who call evil good, and good evil; who put darkness for light, and light for darkness.... Woe to those who are wise in their own eyes, and prudent in their own sight!" Isaiah 5:20-21

"Do not be deceived: 'Evil company corrupts good habits.' Awake to righteousness, and do not sin...." 1 Corinthians 15:33-34

"My son, if sinners entice you, do not consent." Proverbs 1:10


I guess the last one says it all... But they are consenting ...so there ya have it.

Did I do wrong things growing up --you betcha....was I raised in a Godly home nope not at all. Did I know the difference between right and wrong ..yes but not the eternal consequences....do my kids know yes they do but this world calls them.
So My prayer is for them to change. Coz me I am not going to I will stand with the Lord .

of course now I will get off my soap box and examine my own life and see what places I am letting the world in ...like TV shows and movies... uhhh yeah... ok....

stuff....

My heart is settling down the sadness has lessened..a bit -still missing him - that Jeremy - it is hard when you can see the mistakes but can not change them for them. They-- our children make their own mistakes and have to then live with the consequences of them just as we all do.



Josh's girl friend seems to be mad at us- for grounding Josh and ruining her senior year..uh he was only grounded a minute and frankly I don't care . We all do what we have to do - they did wrong . Her parents did nothing -we once again among the teens look like the meanie butts...once again I don't care .

Me I am just taking it one day at a time - All of this is so nuts.

things I am glad of -

that my Jesus stays the same yesterday today and tomorrow

that Jes seems to be on an even keel - poor as a mouse but back in church thats good!

that our Pastor - Dan is a Strong spiritual warrior -

that we have found a church home at Center

that Jen is doing good feet are healing grades are good ,rebellion is in check...

that Scott and I are doing good thru this storm - we are taking care of us..