Stuff...

Wow taking a photo class a fundamentals class starting next week -- I am pretty excited.. scared son't really know what my learning curve is - hope I can do this! Coz I want to -

here are pictures I took at the fair... they print out really crisp... not sure what the online conversion will do to them! CLICK ON THE PICTURE TO SEE IT BIGGER!

Jenni and Gracie

Lauren and Josh

Jeremy and Morgan

Jes and Eric

Scott and me

the midway

Goat

Cute little kids twin boys...and a sister

Loved the signs above their heads

the barn they moved from accross 38th street

My Jesus

.....taking His hand
..........feeling His strength
...............knowing His love for me
.......................trumps all .

Junk

there is lots of junk going on ...needing prayers

my Bible devotions today were Romans 8:28-38

28And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose

And The Lord knows I love Him sooo it is all good right?

no matter what...

So this next week keeping my eyes focused on Him ...and not on what ails me ---

School is IN!

the last of the first day of school pics for my boys... Senior year--
and Jenni's first year of HS...wow -


Well summer is over the school year has began...
back into a schedule ....well sorta...LOL with Volleyball and band and practice and homework all for Jenni and then work and girlfriends for the boys,,,LOL that is about as normal as it gets... I guess...

it is nice to have my house back today finally....after the 1/2 days for the boys --and Jenni finally back in...

I am trying to get my foot taken care of get it fixed ,,,of course if it is arthritis then...well I hope there would be meds to make it easier to walk on!

Now it is on to getting the house cleaned and keeping it cleaned!!
at least while the kids are in school!!

sleep

Blessed sleep... in a house of teenagers it seems to be something elusive... I don't know why they say teenagers need the most sleep of anyone...I say teenagers MOM's need the most sleep of anyone.
last night didn't go to bed until midnightish then someone Jeremy was out of the house at 6 am -- he didn't get permission so now I am up grrrrrr

teenagers and toddlers I swear they are the same personalities...
my toddlers (the boys) never slept... they wanted to do it themselves (Independence) they talked among themselves often plotting things ( yup still doing that.) they fight over toys..( the truck and the gas in it is just a bigger toy)
Twin boys HA HA HA God... thanks so much ...

Restless - hungry

Restlessness fills my soul
hunger deep down gnawing a hole
like a junkie needing my next fix
I look through the cupboards for a healthy mix
of something sweet and something chewy
something chocolaty and gooey
But stopping myself in the knick of time
don't want to face the mother of all diet crimes
hiding and eating stuffing my face
eating things just for a taste
eating junk yet not filling me whole
when it is Jesus I need He is the food for my soul

starting over

I hate starting over...
it is awful....

So maybe I shouldn't look at it as starting over... maybe the Lord can give me a new attitude about it ,...

South Beach... yeah... I know I was doing weight watchers but darn it all I am not any good at counting points...

So back to the beach...even tho summer is almost over...LOL

I still have my SB chili it is in the freezer as we speak..read ..write...whatever... anyway I have been making that all along so it is just more work but not a lot more...
I can do this ... I lost what...65 pounds 71 ponds a few years ago and that was then when I was still dealing with a lot.,.,.SO now I think I can do it ...
but not alone...no never alone...only me and Jesus
He is my life guard on this beach!! LOL

OK so there I have made the public statement...
I am going to the beach and jumping in...ahhh Mon yeah Mon...LOL
no swimming tonight or Sun ...
OK ---

I can do this
Thru Him all things are possible...
right???

OUCH!

ok ok whatever ...SUNBURN is bad...sun screen is good....

yes that is the difference in my collarbone skin...ouch! I know stupid....

but it was so nice by the pool in the sun in the water the cool blue shimmery water.,.. no I don't seem very remorseful do I?? LOL I probably will later on tonight ...after this aloe aftersun junk wears off...man I hope I don't peel...the funny thing is the sun really makes my hair look whiter...LOL man I think I am too old for this!! LOL

sun shine addiction

I love the sun.,..I know I know it is bad thing to do ...with skin cancer and all but ...I love the sun... I have the choice to swim at the Benedictine center today OR go to Madeline's and swim...in the sun ... and swimming at Benedictine is really swimming like laps -- at Madeline's it is a 3 ft circle pool...OH it is big,,,but come one no real exercise.,.. but lovely sun....LOL

OK maybe I will do Benedictine and come home and do laundry then go to Madeline's... yeah maybe that will work.... LOL

to get my sun fix in the cool of the pool is awesome!!!

If I had been skinny I would probably be dead from skin cancer by now...
not that fat girls can't tan ...but I woulda probably pushed harder for a pool...of our own...and then of course a pool boy......

Our Fathers love is extravagant

Our Fathers love is extravagant
His Love is exceptional
His Grace is magnificent
the things He does for us is unimaginable in human standards He loved us before we even were - He loves the thought of us - think about that one... We love our children - our spouses but do we love unconditionally? Like HE does?

Here's a thought eyebrows....
Jenni and I went to Shari's for eyebrow waxing and Jenni was like wow eyebrows are weird these random patches of hair on our faces...how weird that God gave us these and Gracie was like yeah but Jen think how funny we look without them...

See God is extravagant to give us eyebrows...to brake up that whole expanse of skin between our eyes and our hairlines... it gives us in site into peoples moods their thoughts eyebrows up in surprise or furrowed down in anger - my dog even has eyebrows... think about that ...LOL
eyebrows....WOW..........LOL

anxious

inside I feel all anxious - tense
feeling like I have caused offense
shoulders and neck all knotted and tight
inside I am getting ready for a fight
I need to rely on Jesus - my Lord
That on Calvery His blood poured
To give me freedom from the chains that bind
to remenber I have left all of THAT life behind

are you in the 83% or the 17% ??

How do people survive without Jesus? How do people with Jesus commit the acts that they do and call themselves Christian?
the news just had a report that "Nearly across the board, the majority of religious Americans believe many religions can lead to eternal life: mainline Protestants 83 % belive that there are many ways to heaven... read the whole story....http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,370588,00.html

ok mainline protestants... thats most of all whom I know ...that means those 83 % are not going to heaven
you gotta believe that Jesus is who He said He was ...and what He said is truth to call yourselves a Christian .... our pastor preached on this report and how in Numbers 13 & 14 (read it for yoyrself...) --12 went out to look at the Land that God --GOD mind you had promised them and only 2 Josh and Caleb came back with a good report like hello ...God sent them out to see this -- God said it is good who ARE these people who don't think God is right?? well all but 2 felt like God couldn't be right that they knew better and as it ended up only 2 got to see the new land hummm is this a lesson for us ---in the math world (so Pastor Dan preached...) these 2 from 12 = 17%...so that means 83% believed something else about the Land God had given them....and they ended up not getting to live there... Sounds to me like History is repeating its self...So question remains where are you? Are you in the 83% that thinks there are many ways to heaven or the 17 % that believes Jesus is the only way?? makes for a startling revelation that Heaven aint gonna be so crowded...

freedom

Today is 4th of July Freedom day.. for America -
yet Christ set us free already! Don't get me wrong I love the freedom we have in America I couldn't imagine being -living anywhere else ...(hello lots to be said for our wonderful flushie toilets as opposed to holes in the floor...!)
but it hit me last night watching the fire works at BG park ... they were awesome and in my mind they were linked to Christ setting me free.

John 8:34Jesus replied, "I tell you the truth, everyone who sins is a slave to sin. 35Now a slave has no permanent place in the family, but a son belongs to it forever. 36So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.
isn't Jesus AWESOME! what He did for us -I think the fireworks shoukd be for Him!

I am so thankful for what our soldiers have done in getting our country's freedom I am sad at how we use it -- the sinful life that we live how we support sin with our tax dollars like abortions ect..So while our Country is free from tyranny we are still a country that is enslaved in sin.

So tonight if you are watching fireworks or next time you see a big show -- when it gets to the grand finally think of what Jesus did for us and say WOW! Thank you Jesus -

Dentists

dentists - dentistry - drills - shots -pain - hands in your mouth -mind numbing fear- people with masks breathing down -eyes of compassion- eyes of determination to get the job done- cold bloody water seeping down your throat- rinse- spit- terror - madness - can't breathe -gotta leave -splitting
or
holding Jesus hand -feeling His strength -seeing His compassion His Love his Mercy to stand in the gap for me - peace - calm - breathing - He is here with me in me He is my strength He is my everything,.peace

Happy Anniversary...23 years

This is Scotts Fav picture of me in the dress...the morning of our wedding at my Dad's I had only been up a few minutes Susi -mom wanted me to put on the dress...So here it is I remember I didn't even have my contacts in totally blind!! LOL

Scott and Me....

ok Wow I know I look very different! LOL it is the hair right>????

there are some funny things here... Scott had his beard and all but the week before our wedding he shaved it off! I was like whatttttttttt?? Anyway his reasoning was he might not have it when we had kids and how confused they would be... LOL He has not been without it since!

And my dress it was a wedding dress rental ...it was all vail and dress

$ 65.00 and we ended up getting top keep it because the gal had sold the shop and they didn't want the inventory... I remeber I wore a size 13 and the dress tho was an 18 I was a bit mad about that! but when she zipped the 16 I thought the zipper was gonna blow!! $65.00 ..WOW considering my niece spent $900.00 on a dress...well her dad did....LOL

ok well 23 years.. I wish I had the same body but am glad I am not the same person. peoples... LOL

Amazingly exceptional....

God is amazingly exceptional
My mouth can not speak the Love I have for Him
My eyes can not take in the Glory of Him
My heart explodes with Love for Him
My hands ache to be at work for Him
My ears long to hear these words from Him
Well done good and faithful servant.
ks2008
This day I am full of wonder at all He does for us ...

God is never average but always exceptional...
As Christians shouldn't we follow His example of excellence
and STOP being average???

BE STILL AND KNOW....

How many times do you have to break

before you are fully broken?

How many faces does repentance take

before it becomes a mere token ?

How many times do you have to hear the words

before you realize it is God who has spoken?

BE STILL AND KNOW I AM GOD...say's He....

how cute is this??

the boys and the girlfriends went to Kings Island yesterday got this picture taken...I just love that they the boys dressed alike........
Click on picture to make it bigger..
Jeremy -Morgan -Lauren- Joshua

letting go of the control

So what Do we control anyway??
not much I am thinking So why do we try and hold on to it (control) so tightly? Our fingers wrapped securely white knuckled at times around something that is an illusion CONTROL - like smoke and mirrors it looked one way until the smoke clears and you find you are seeing something else.
This illusion of control is in so many areas of our lives and reality we can control very little - this last couple of weeks here in Indy there has been storms & tornado's we can not control the wind there are people who do not live in flood plane areas yet are in 5 foot of water how do you control the wind or the rain?? We do not - only God does... and children we raise them up we teach them whats right and whats not - yet they walk out the door pretty as you please and do what it is they want to do with little regard to your "control" over them SOOO why do we even think we have control ? How do you just let go release those fingers one by one and laying back in the knowledge that God is in control .

fire sky & Jesus

pretty purple and orange sky.............

thought Jesus was coming - seriously went out listened for the trumpets ....

no trumpets no Jesus on the clouds just orange fire sky....

back to work Christians ...

thoughts

well after swimming 53 miles I got a swim lesson today I told the life guard I won't probably ever learn Spanish and I grew up as a swim rat and I have never been able to do the water breathing/not breathing thing as a swimmer always had to hold my nose to go under once under I am good to go it is just getting there ... and the swimming across I keep my head up outta the water not so efficient ...
well today I started it I still can't quite do both as in swim and keep the breathing in and not not breathing in 1/2 the pool! ...but hey I did do it a few times and I didn't die whooo hooo!

the sky is dark and cloudy and my brain is too
my heart is full of cloudy gloomy rumblings

I feel moody and dark and want to live in an old Victorian house above the crashing sea..with 10 cats (keeping in mind that I don't particularly even LIKE cats!) and a wood burning fireplace and books to read and chocolate cake to eat . nobody comes except the grocer boy to bring mail and supplies...of course I would get no mail coz I would be that crazy lady up on the cliffs in the old Victorian mansion

been typing some lessons some teachings and such and not getting some of the principles . like life doesn't revolve around me well duh and why not?? LOL I do love Jesus life revolves around Jesus and I don't get in that ever so practical way HOW I am not supposed to get involved emotionally in life when life involves my emotions...where do you draw the line at it isn't your fault? And admit when it is?

unaltered life can be so confusing... good but confusing...are you confused yet?

June 2, 08 ~ lovin Jesus

Can I just say here that I love Jesus??
Seriously ...He is awesome and the grace and the love that He shows us His compassion and mercy is tremendous...
typing up some notes and well all I can say is wow thank you Jesus.

I see the world and it's craziness
I sometimes join in I must confess
my heart grieves for the things I do & see
My soul yearns for the day it will be free
away from this world full of darkness and sin
the day my soul joins with Jesus is the day true life begins!

it's not right to be not right...

Jenni - Lauren -Anna -Alex -(kindergarten play )

it's not right to be not right...
that would have had a whole different meaning to me 5 years ago... out of pride I ALWAYS wanted to be right (and hey I usually was ...LOL) now tho it is about being right with God-- with Jesus Christ my Savior and Redeemer - this world thinks so totally different about stuff. do what you want do what feels good live for the now ... you are your own inner light bla bla bla sometimes I think we have tumbled into the Land of OZ only to find Oprah behind the curtain. of course being a mom is like being in OZ most days all in the same day I am the wicked witch enforcing the rules - the good witch who makes everything right when it is all going wrong -the scare crow who needs a brain coz everyone knows we parents know nothing -the cowardly lion afraid to face whats next the tin man who needs a heart surly anyone with a heart knows that boyfriends should spend 24/7 with the girl friends... and Dorothy who just wants to tap her heels and go home where there is warm cookies and cold milk she didn't have to get for herself. and an Auntie Em to wash the plate and cup...

being right with the Lord...ahhh now that is golden.. the emerald city all shiny and at it's best - it is that great big lolly pop from the lolly pop kids.. it is Cotton candy flowers and chocolate rivers... humm now it is sounding more like willy wonka... anyway

God is God and I am not...could be my first tattoo...

I may be going to School ... but I haven't checked with the Lord if that's what He is thinking... after my being off course I am thinking I better sit back on course for a min before seeking His wisdom on it., BUT make no mistakes it will be HIS wisdom I seek before I jump I still don't feel like He would bless anything I would do right this min with so much still left to wrap up ..
typing and such..

and here's a random thing I miss my poetry-- Lord could I have that one back?? maybe without the pain?
I need to find that ONE thing I do well and explore doing it.
Oz.the land of OZ where things are not always as they seem. ...watch out for the peddler guy with all his wears in the back of his wagon to distract you and watch out for those those evil flying monkeys......

my kids... Love them!

wedding pictures

wedding pics...

the bride takes the groom is the name of the first one...LOL
and then watch for the ringbearer sound asleep...LOL

Wedding pictures

These are my favorites...post 1

Wow

on Thursday my baby girl graduates 8th grade... pretty darn exciting! And sad... lets see besides being busy with all the stuff for graduation I was the main photographer at Chrissys wedding - I will post some of those pics .
I am worn out. It has been a whorl wind month starting with the mini and ending with graduations.. class trip and wedding in the middle. It is a wonder I still have my sanity left...uh I do have it I am just not sure where I have placed it!!
Tomorrow is the cougar walk - we walk to Garfield park then ater that I have girls coming back to the house until time to get nails done -then Thursday is 1/2 day and the 8th graders all go out to lunch then I have girls coming here to do hair and make up - Thursday night is graduation -Jenni is Valdedictorian and Fri is her last day at Emmaus-- we have been there 18 years! (Jes started at age 3 ) There is going ot be a video at graduation which is gonna make us all cry... Jenni wont let me read her speach - I think I am gonna need lots of prayers to make it thru!

8th grade Class Graduation Pictures...

the night before the race.,,,,

Keep your eyes on the Prize....

there it is folks the real reason to walk 13.1 miles...

I am excited ...I am terrified.... I want to say forget it ...I want to say get outta my way ....

Today I am getting everything for the weekend ready food...clothes ... epson salt... advil and ... a heavy arsonal of prayer!!

I am off to go swim at least a 1/2 mile

things I have learned in Bricks to Bricks training and the 10 miler

things I have learned in Bricks to Bricks training and the 10 miler

1 P.M.A. (positive mental attitude) totally beats C.M.A. (crappy mental attitide) but someday's...CMA prevails....

2. I walked the last mile and 1/2 of the 10 miler by myself...it wasn't fun in fact I thought I was in social purgatory. I sang Jesus Loves me and Father Abraham and the St Francis guy on the bike kept circling me .....BUT Ken tells us this is a social event I figure with 35,000 people I can find Someone to talk to those last 2-3 miles...

3. forget laying everything out the night before I am awake and excited at 5:30 a.m. I need to worry about AFTER the race...and lay out my jammies so I don't have to move much once I get home. ok it is because I won't be moving much once I get home

4. I am getting a shirt made that says: the first shall be last and the last shall be first! this way chip time doesn't really matter now does it...haha

5. if I have to start in corral Z and walk 30 min to starting gate...then I want extra credit for the 13.6 + miles...HEY Mr Kenyan start at the back of the pack and win...

6. I have learned big words like pronation and planter fasciitis , that I will never again use in everyday life

7. I learned that getting fit by the "shoe guys" don't mean your shoes fit ( as I found out at mile 5 of the 10 miler)

8. at mile 9 on the 10 miler I found out stealing a rock from someone's yard and confessing to the cop -will NOT get you a ride in the nice shiny comfy police car...maybe I shoulda beaned him on the head with it...I will carry my emergency free ride rock with me on the mini....

10. I learned that someone has made towels and sucked the life outta them to make them dehydrated so we can pour water on them and re hydrate them to use them....why?

11. I learned I really do not like lime gatorade... no body does that is why it is free at the mini...I bet the first 5 Kenyans get the good stuff...who would know??

12. I have learned that no one expects anyone sized over a 2x to walk this race...hummm got a news flash for ya they do and I am....

13 I have decided spaghetti and cookies are not enough motivation to get me over the start- uh I mean finish line.. So I am placing a large Hershey's chocolate bar at the tent for when I am done..(nobody touches it nobody gets hurt...remember I am armed with my rock.)

14. I worry about getting to the tent after crossing the finish line...I can start I can plod on to the end but finished means just that FINISHED... that may be when I use the rock....

15. they said they will sweep the course of people if you are not keeping pace...all this week as I have walked I hear king size street sweepers behind me .,..it is scary,,,, like a horror movie these sweeper people are not my friends...

16. I have learned that I am not a sporting person I walk to go from point A to point B to go out and do a 10 mile walk " for the fun of it" is NUTS and 13.6 means I have lost my marbles (which by the way is TRUE that's why they give you one BACK after the race at the dinner ) ..I like lots of other things but sore blistered feet sweating like a hog and the thoughts of planter fasciitis are like a personal nightmare... BUT there's always the Hershey bar..

17 I heard last week someone had been training all this time and broke their ankle and thought lucky dog...just kidding ...sorta ..ok ...not right thinking but dang great excuse to stay home and watch it all on T.V.

18 I had surgery on my knee and the Dr was pessimistic about me doing this ( I think it is just his nature or maybe the degree hanging on his wall..hummm) But I have told my husband if I get hurt take me to someone else so I don't have to hear I told you so..I would rather tell him SEE I DID IT!

all that said -- I want that medal that little piece of history that states I finished the 32nd 500 Festival mini marathon -it doesn't say I was chased by the sweeper people it doesn't mention that I was in corral Z the 501st person over the finish line gets the same medal as the 35,000th person... ( think ABOUT that you elite runners!)
it says I finished the race... as Paul said in 2 Timothy 4:7 I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith ~ whoooo hoooo!!
Kim
Greenwood Bricks to Bricks

urgggghhhhhh

ok THIS is awful... I went to weigh in this afternoon and it was
+1.2 now HOW can that be ?? just in the last 2 days I walked 10 miles and swam 1 mile I haven't eaten crazy ... what the heck is going on?? I am so frustrated...I told Scott I coulda sat on the couch and eaten chocolate bars and gained 1.2 pounds who needs this really???

Ok I am NOT gonna do the couch thing at least not yet ,,,the next 2 weeks I WILL track all my food and keep up the swimming and walking after all the mini is May 3rd if I dont lose something then I am going into Dr Ericas and I swear I am not leaving until she figures out what the heck is wrong.

oh there is 8th grade girl drama at school and frankly I am over it . all of it and I am not even sure what IT is...

ok enough whining...Lord ...I am needing help here please send it in the form of something friendly and not exercise....

10 miler

Oh my gosh did the 10 miler yesterday,,,,killed me ! seriously I got blisters on my feet and my whole body HURTS...and the worst part of it is... I was like the bottom i was 13th from the last place...so while I wasn't LAST I coulda been! was it fun oh I guess for like the first mile or so...then it became tedious one foot in front of the other.... I am not sure about doing the mini ...not sure I care enough to do it and feel this way after. I have felt this bad but only after an emmaus weekend when I was like ma cha...that means only 3 hours sleep a night and moving all day... but THAT is for the Lord. my husband is proud of me - me I am just hurting!! I can't wait to get in the pool today not sure how much i will get in lap wise but it has to help!!
here's the results ...
748
Kim--- Indianapolis IN 768
47
45 F 45-49
2:57:55.3
2:58:54.8
0:59.4

not sure what the 2 finish times mean one is chip time the other is actual or something who knows....
my pace is like 17:48 min....gotta have 18 min pace for mini ...
ahhh well if I dont lose something this week I am gonna shoot someone....LOL

Hard today

man I am SO wanting to just stuff my face find some chocolate soup and just roll in it ...it is bad. Lord please take away these cravings this non hunger that is gnawing at my soul my mind my feelings of emptyness are not of you.
maybe I just need to get up and get moving my house is a wreck so it isn't like I don't have anything to keep me busy.

I did have my first weigh in on my weight watchers
lost 5 pounds. who hoo....

ok well I guess I will go talk to my Lord....

walking....and Chocolate cake,,,

Walking ---today Madeline and I walked 4 miles AND...I didn't die....LOL and I know they say never say never but I can tell you I am NEVER gonna be one of those loves exercise gotta do it people. Tho we didn't get done with the four miles and go to DQ which was unfortunately my first thought...LOL
why is this walking thing SO important well in less then 4 weeks we are walking in the Mini marathon... I did reassure Madeline that this is THE race...I am not interested is doing one after this In my book is IT...LOL

Chocolate cake--- today in the paper some guy made a statement that sums up my feelings completely He said he was a chocolate lover and if someone said to him give up chocolate or your gonna die I say well bring on the chocolate cake and plan a funeral!
Amen brother!! LOL

Submitting......

Wow had a new thought in my quiet time submitting my body to God...
know about submitting my mind my life my will ...but my body?? I kinda thought it was all the same thing but God says NOT-
Rather it is diet or exercise or healing of the bad knee I just need to submit it all to Him ... And I feel in this weight watcher thing it is submitting my body to Him,..,.and in this excersise thing it is submitting my body to Him and even in this painful knee thing I need to just give it over to Him... I can not fix it ...submit submit submit....there is a time I have to admit (haha)I would have rather ran then to submit...(such a poet ..LOL) But now it is ok ...And I am renouncing the rebellion that wells up inside of me these last few days as I am submitting my body to Him to this program. Rebelllion like an angry lion roaring inside of me loudly at this process..the Lord says to me --Be still And know I am God ...and I know that He is....

weight watchers

Well I did it on my own ..went and joined weight watchers back to the land of points and tracking food ect. Accountability is really what it is all about. And the reason I always hated weight watchers before is because I get so darn cold last night I was freezing! I think it must be the water! LOL Maybe I need to drink warm water (yuck!)
The swimming is going well still.. I am still loving it ...I have to pick up my walking tho for the Mini-- last night at Bricks to Bricks that is the first time I have actually walked in months...because of this knee...anyway it was good but I am way behind!! LOL this week I am supposed to be getting in 24-28 miles...with one day being at 7-8 miles....man I just figured that in my head and (said to the empty room like it was nothing...)that's only 4 miles a day ONLY!!!!!!!
if I swim 1/2 mile of it does that count?? LOL

So swimming AND walking ...where am I gonna find the time???

for the record I hate weight watchers,....BUT I feel it is the right thing to do...Why is the Lord having me do something I hate...why can't He let me be on the Hershey's chocolate diet ...oh wait that's what I HAVE been on...LOL

ok heres a thought maybe I should walk to swimming...LOL its about 2 miles there...what kind of exercise nut would THAT make me???LOL ROTFLOL....seriously !!

getting peace that surpasses my own understanding ....

with that said...I am mopving way too fast in directions I do not believe the Lord wants me to go....
with the photography thing,,,I can see that MAYBE school is in my future...but NOT now...I still have loose ends to tie up from the last few years notes to type - ect. I have jumped ahead in this new life without talking it over with the Lord I just took it on my own to say I want to be I want to do ...that was wrong of me and for that I am sorry Lord. That was me being in the drivers seat for a short min or a couple long months now I forgot I am in the trunk. and we all can see what kind of train wreack you can get into when you drive from the trunk.
He is king of my life then I got to seek Him for the direction of my life.,..not me pick and expect Him to get with the program my arrogance is astounding after all He has done for me.
So humbeling myself before my King ...sitting back and waiting on Him doing the things HE has put before me once again a student of obedience ... oh I will still take some pictures but this picture thing IS not my focus. and the peace part is I don't have to worry about it HE is my guide my map quest...I will be looking at Him to see where I am to go next.
the peace part comes from I feel like I have been speaking a forign launguage the last few months but no it is because I became unhooked from my life line Jesus I was in forign lands but now I am back home in His arms under His direction. it feels good to be home .
thank you Jesus for your patience and for letting me grow in you-

saturday night before Easter morn.....

Wow it is Sat night of Easter weekend ...family's will be coloring eggs (miss those days I truly do!!) Moms will be bathing the kids ,ironing and setting out those nice new crisp Easter clothes...and after the little ones are in bed moms and dads...ok well moms arrange the Easter baskets filling them with Candy and toys and that crinkly green cellophane grass,,,,
But go back- back to that first Easter...and to the thoughts and fears of those who loved and believed in Jesus...we know Thomas had to have his doubts as to if Jesus was going to Rise on Sunday from the dead ....but what about Peter and John the beloved...and Mary oh my heart as a mother breaks for her and what she saw on Fri,... her beautiful boy Gods son tortured and killed in such a way and SHE knew He was Gods son but surly even she had a doubt or a touch of fear of what would REALLY happen on Sunday the 3rd day....the hope ever alive that her Son would be whole again.,. not tattered and torn and bloody as she saw him last.

So tonight as you try and scrub those little hands free of egg dye ( oh come on all kids need purple and blue fingers on Easter!) And as you sneak a piece of chocolate or two from the basket,....think on what it was like on the other side of Easter morning the other side of the resurrection as they waited in sorrow at what went before them on Fri-- to what is awaited on Sun... If Friday is colored Black and Sunday is colored white then surly Sat is the color of grey for waiting and suspense and sadness and hope ....

Happy Easter -- He is Risen indeed!~!

pictures....

Maddie "5"

making God centered decisions...

my alters ego melting thru Gods love and healing....

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I seem to be headed in a direction I am not sure God wants me to go.
I need to be still and listen not rush like the fool I am.

It seems since last year and all the healing that has taken place over the last 5 years in my life I have so many things that "I" can now do - all are gifts from Him but where is my niche?

What is it HE wants me to do?

I love the photography thing but frankly if He wants me to do that then He truly is going to have to open my mind to learn the things I need to learn - And I guess for my part in it I need to sit still and listen to Him to hear it.

There are so many things - talents and I don't want to give up a one - it makes me sad but I also know I really can't do them all well. /so I am going to have to decide- thru Him WHAT it is HE wants me to focus on.

I know I need to renounce this sadness ...but wouldn't it be natural to be a little sad?

I know there is a ministry out there - He has it for me - I am not sure when it is right for me - I am not sure about maybe going back to school...back ...heck how about going TO school. So much to learn so much I missed .. guess the Lord would have to open my mind up to THAT too...

I really was hoping that thru the new church I would "find" my niche and it would be easy but that isn't happening and what I see is that would NOT be me depending on Him....

Dear God I know I am so much better at this then I was 6 years ago.,..but Lord it is still so hard -

grieving heart

oh Lord my heart grieves for the sinfulness of this nation.
I see plenty why people stop reading newspapers and stop watching TV the sinfulness that is tolerated by the world that is perpetuated by the world is grievous. Lord Jesus could you come back soon. My heart and soul can not take the ugly that has become the world.
My baby girl is going to Thailand to work with the rescued women and GIRLS who have been sold ..SOLD into the sex trades...bought by men - the TV shows that have no redeeming values even as entertainment they cause heartache and embarrassment
my heart is heavy this morning with the weight of the worlds sinfulness and my own.

Scrapbooking...

This weekend is MY weekend -- I am going to a hotel and scrapbooking all weekend. I am inviting friends to come and set up and scrap but the space is mine ! yea!!
I am going to the fairfield which is a suite - So the next few days it is getting ready --packing everything up and getting supplies....
My goal is to get Jenni caught up thru 2007...so all of 06 and all of 07...that is a LOT!

And when I get back I have a wedding consult / engagement photo session...

exciting times I live in!!

feeling His call

been not doing what I should in my holiness walk -
and feeling His call to me in my soul
feeling my heart being pulled by His Word feeling my inner most being touched by His love
soaking up His word needing more more more
His promises cover me like a soft blanket in saftey and assurences that all is well for me
I want to live in His words live in His warmth in His love in His Grace -
my heart is bursting with love for Jesus what He has done for me -
Thank you Lord

overwhelmed

Wow it has been rough these last couple days Scott sick Jen still not 100% the cookie booths the garage sale for school the boys decsions that have to be made it is all crashing down on me and I am ready to snap--no snapping no splitting no breaking leaning on the Lord laying my head on His broad shoulders and resting.