it's not right to be not right...

Jenni - Lauren -Anna -Alex -(kindergarten play )

it's not right to be not right...
that would have had a whole different meaning to me 5 years ago... out of pride I ALWAYS wanted to be right (and hey I usually was ...LOL) now tho it is about being right with God-- with Jesus Christ my Savior and Redeemer - this world thinks so totally different about stuff. do what you want do what feels good live for the now ... you are your own inner light bla bla bla sometimes I think we have tumbled into the Land of OZ only to find Oprah behind the curtain. of course being a mom is like being in OZ most days all in the same day I am the wicked witch enforcing the rules - the good witch who makes everything right when it is all going wrong -the scare crow who needs a brain coz everyone knows we parents know nothing -the cowardly lion afraid to face whats next the tin man who needs a heart surly anyone with a heart knows that boyfriends should spend 24/7 with the girl friends... and Dorothy who just wants to tap her heels and go home where there is warm cookies and cold milk she didn't have to get for herself. and an Auntie Em to wash the plate and cup...

being right with the Lord...ahhh now that is golden.. the emerald city all shiny and at it's best - it is that great big lolly pop from the lolly pop kids.. it is Cotton candy flowers and chocolate rivers... humm now it is sounding more like willy wonka... anyway

God is God and I am not...could be my first tattoo...

I may be going to School ... but I haven't checked with the Lord if that's what He is thinking... after my being off course I am thinking I better sit back on course for a min before seeking His wisdom on it., BUT make no mistakes it will be HIS wisdom I seek before I jump I still don't feel like He would bless anything I would do right this min with so much still left to wrap up ..
typing and such..

and here's a random thing I miss my poetry-- Lord could I have that one back?? maybe without the pain?
I need to find that ONE thing I do well and explore doing it.
Oz.the land of OZ where things are not always as they seem. ...watch out for the peddler guy with all his wears in the back of his wagon to distract you and watch out for those those evil flying monkeys......

my kids... Love them!

wedding pictures

wedding pics...

the bride takes the groom is the name of the first one...LOL
and then watch for the ringbearer sound asleep...LOL

Wedding pictures

These are my favorites...post 1

Wow

on Thursday my baby girl graduates 8th grade... pretty darn exciting! And sad... lets see besides being busy with all the stuff for graduation I was the main photographer at Chrissys wedding - I will post some of those pics .
I am worn out. It has been a whorl wind month starting with the mini and ending with graduations.. class trip and wedding in the middle. It is a wonder I still have my sanity left...uh I do have it I am just not sure where I have placed it!!
Tomorrow is the cougar walk - we walk to Garfield park then ater that I have girls coming back to the house until time to get nails done -then Thursday is 1/2 day and the 8th graders all go out to lunch then I have girls coming here to do hair and make up - Thursday night is graduation -Jenni is Valdedictorian and Fri is her last day at Emmaus-- we have been there 18 years! (Jes started at age 3 ) There is going ot be a video at graduation which is gonna make us all cry... Jenni wont let me read her speach - I think I am gonna need lots of prayers to make it thru!

8th grade Class Graduation Pictures...

the night before the race.,,,,

Keep your eyes on the Prize....

there it is folks the real reason to walk 13.1 miles...

I am excited ...I am terrified.... I want to say forget it ...I want to say get outta my way ....

Today I am getting everything for the weekend ready food...clothes ... epson salt... advil and ... a heavy arsonal of prayer!!

I am off to go swim at least a 1/2 mile

things I have learned in Bricks to Bricks training and the 10 miler

things I have learned in Bricks to Bricks training and the 10 miler

1 P.M.A. (positive mental attitude) totally beats C.M.A. (crappy mental attitide) but someday's...CMA prevails....

2. I walked the last mile and 1/2 of the 10 miler by myself...it wasn't fun in fact I thought I was in social purgatory. I sang Jesus Loves me and Father Abraham and the St Francis guy on the bike kept circling me .....BUT Ken tells us this is a social event I figure with 35,000 people I can find Someone to talk to those last 2-3 miles...

3. forget laying everything out the night before I am awake and excited at 5:30 a.m. I need to worry about AFTER the race...and lay out my jammies so I don't have to move much once I get home. ok it is because I won't be moving much once I get home

4. I am getting a shirt made that says: the first shall be last and the last shall be first! this way chip time doesn't really matter now does it...haha

5. if I have to start in corral Z and walk 30 min to starting gate...then I want extra credit for the 13.6 + miles...HEY Mr Kenyan start at the back of the pack and win...

6. I have learned big words like pronation and planter fasciitis , that I will never again use in everyday life

7. I learned that getting fit by the "shoe guys" don't mean your shoes fit ( as I found out at mile 5 of the 10 miler)

8. at mile 9 on the 10 miler I found out stealing a rock from someone's yard and confessing to the cop -will NOT get you a ride in the nice shiny comfy police car...maybe I shoulda beaned him on the head with it...I will carry my emergency free ride rock with me on the mini....

10. I learned that someone has made towels and sucked the life outta them to make them dehydrated so we can pour water on them and re hydrate them to use them....why?

11. I learned I really do not like lime gatorade... no body does that is why it is free at the mini...I bet the first 5 Kenyans get the good stuff...who would know??

12. I have learned that no one expects anyone sized over a 2x to walk this race...hummm got a news flash for ya they do and I am....

13 I have decided spaghetti and cookies are not enough motivation to get me over the start- uh I mean finish line.. So I am placing a large Hershey's chocolate bar at the tent for when I am done..(nobody touches it nobody gets hurt...remember I am armed with my rock.)

14. I worry about getting to the tent after crossing the finish line...I can start I can plod on to the end but finished means just that FINISHED... that may be when I use the rock....

15. they said they will sweep the course of people if you are not keeping pace...all this week as I have walked I hear king size street sweepers behind me .,..it is scary,,,, like a horror movie these sweeper people are not my friends...

16. I have learned that I am not a sporting person I walk to go from point A to point B to go out and do a 10 mile walk " for the fun of it" is NUTS and 13.6 means I have lost my marbles (which by the way is TRUE that's why they give you one BACK after the race at the dinner ) ..I like lots of other things but sore blistered feet sweating like a hog and the thoughts of planter fasciitis are like a personal nightmare... BUT there's always the Hershey bar..

17 I heard last week someone had been training all this time and broke their ankle and thought lucky dog...just kidding ...sorta ..ok ...not right thinking but dang great excuse to stay home and watch it all on T.V.

18 I had surgery on my knee and the Dr was pessimistic about me doing this ( I think it is just his nature or maybe the degree hanging on his wall..hummm) But I have told my husband if I get hurt take me to someone else so I don't have to hear I told you so..I would rather tell him SEE I DID IT!

all that said -- I want that medal that little piece of history that states I finished the 32nd 500 Festival mini marathon -it doesn't say I was chased by the sweeper people it doesn't mention that I was in corral Z the 501st person over the finish line gets the same medal as the 35,000th person... ( think ABOUT that you elite runners!)
it says I finished the race... as Paul said in 2 Timothy 4:7 I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith ~ whoooo hoooo!!
Kim
Greenwood Bricks to Bricks

urgggghhhhhh

ok THIS is awful... I went to weigh in this afternoon and it was
+1.2 now HOW can that be ?? just in the last 2 days I walked 10 miles and swam 1 mile I haven't eaten crazy ... what the heck is going on?? I am so frustrated...I told Scott I coulda sat on the couch and eaten chocolate bars and gained 1.2 pounds who needs this really???

Ok I am NOT gonna do the couch thing at least not yet ,,,the next 2 weeks I WILL track all my food and keep up the swimming and walking after all the mini is May 3rd if I dont lose something then I am going into Dr Ericas and I swear I am not leaving until she figures out what the heck is wrong.

oh there is 8th grade girl drama at school and frankly I am over it . all of it and I am not even sure what IT is...

ok enough whining...Lord ...I am needing help here please send it in the form of something friendly and not exercise....

10 miler

Oh my gosh did the 10 miler yesterday,,,,killed me ! seriously I got blisters on my feet and my whole body HURTS...and the worst part of it is... I was like the bottom i was 13th from the last place...so while I wasn't LAST I coulda been! was it fun oh I guess for like the first mile or so...then it became tedious one foot in front of the other.... I am not sure about doing the mini ...not sure I care enough to do it and feel this way after. I have felt this bad but only after an emmaus weekend when I was like ma cha...that means only 3 hours sleep a night and moving all day... but THAT is for the Lord. my husband is proud of me - me I am just hurting!! I can't wait to get in the pool today not sure how much i will get in lap wise but it has to help!!
here's the results ...
748
Kim--- Indianapolis IN 768
47
45 F 45-49
2:57:55.3
2:58:54.8
0:59.4

not sure what the 2 finish times mean one is chip time the other is actual or something who knows....
my pace is like 17:48 min....gotta have 18 min pace for mini ...
ahhh well if I dont lose something this week I am gonna shoot someone....LOL

Hard today

man I am SO wanting to just stuff my face find some chocolate soup and just roll in it ...it is bad. Lord please take away these cravings this non hunger that is gnawing at my soul my mind my feelings of emptyness are not of you.
maybe I just need to get up and get moving my house is a wreck so it isn't like I don't have anything to keep me busy.

I did have my first weigh in on my weight watchers
lost 5 pounds. who hoo....

ok well I guess I will go talk to my Lord....

walking....and Chocolate cake,,,

Walking ---today Madeline and I walked 4 miles AND...I didn't die....LOL and I know they say never say never but I can tell you I am NEVER gonna be one of those loves exercise gotta do it people. Tho we didn't get done with the four miles and go to DQ which was unfortunately my first thought...LOL
why is this walking thing SO important well in less then 4 weeks we are walking in the Mini marathon... I did reassure Madeline that this is THE race...I am not interested is doing one after this In my book is IT...LOL

Chocolate cake--- today in the paper some guy made a statement that sums up my feelings completely He said he was a chocolate lover and if someone said to him give up chocolate or your gonna die I say well bring on the chocolate cake and plan a funeral!
Amen brother!! LOL

Submitting......

Wow had a new thought in my quiet time submitting my body to God...
know about submitting my mind my life my will ...but my body?? I kinda thought it was all the same thing but God says NOT-
Rather it is diet or exercise or healing of the bad knee I just need to submit it all to Him ... And I feel in this weight watcher thing it is submitting my body to Him,..,.and in this excersise thing it is submitting my body to Him and even in this painful knee thing I need to just give it over to Him... I can not fix it ...submit submit submit....there is a time I have to admit (haha)I would have rather ran then to submit...(such a poet ..LOL) But now it is ok ...And I am renouncing the rebellion that wells up inside of me these last few days as I am submitting my body to Him to this program. Rebelllion like an angry lion roaring inside of me loudly at this process..the Lord says to me --Be still And know I am God ...and I know that He is....

weight watchers

Well I did it on my own ..went and joined weight watchers back to the land of points and tracking food ect. Accountability is really what it is all about. And the reason I always hated weight watchers before is because I get so darn cold last night I was freezing! I think it must be the water! LOL Maybe I need to drink warm water (yuck!)
The swimming is going well still.. I am still loving it ...I have to pick up my walking tho for the Mini-- last night at Bricks to Bricks that is the first time I have actually walked in months...because of this knee...anyway it was good but I am way behind!! LOL this week I am supposed to be getting in 24-28 miles...with one day being at 7-8 miles....man I just figured that in my head and (said to the empty room like it was nothing...)that's only 4 miles a day ONLY!!!!!!!
if I swim 1/2 mile of it does that count?? LOL

So swimming AND walking ...where am I gonna find the time???

for the record I hate weight watchers,....BUT I feel it is the right thing to do...Why is the Lord having me do something I hate...why can't He let me be on the Hershey's chocolate diet ...oh wait that's what I HAVE been on...LOL

ok heres a thought maybe I should walk to swimming...LOL its about 2 miles there...what kind of exercise nut would THAT make me???LOL ROTFLOL....seriously !!

getting peace that surpasses my own understanding ....

with that said...I am mopving way too fast in directions I do not believe the Lord wants me to go....
with the photography thing,,,I can see that MAYBE school is in my future...but NOT now...I still have loose ends to tie up from the last few years notes to type - ect. I have jumped ahead in this new life without talking it over with the Lord I just took it on my own to say I want to be I want to do ...that was wrong of me and for that I am sorry Lord. That was me being in the drivers seat for a short min or a couple long months now I forgot I am in the trunk. and we all can see what kind of train wreack you can get into when you drive from the trunk.
He is king of my life then I got to seek Him for the direction of my life.,..not me pick and expect Him to get with the program my arrogance is astounding after all He has done for me.
So humbeling myself before my King ...sitting back and waiting on Him doing the things HE has put before me once again a student of obedience ... oh I will still take some pictures but this picture thing IS not my focus. and the peace part is I don't have to worry about it HE is my guide my map quest...I will be looking at Him to see where I am to go next.
the peace part comes from I feel like I have been speaking a forign launguage the last few months but no it is because I became unhooked from my life line Jesus I was in forign lands but now I am back home in His arms under His direction. it feels good to be home .
thank you Jesus for your patience and for letting me grow in you-

saturday night before Easter morn.....

Wow it is Sat night of Easter weekend ...family's will be coloring eggs (miss those days I truly do!!) Moms will be bathing the kids ,ironing and setting out those nice new crisp Easter clothes...and after the little ones are in bed moms and dads...ok well moms arrange the Easter baskets filling them with Candy and toys and that crinkly green cellophane grass,,,,
But go back- back to that first Easter...and to the thoughts and fears of those who loved and believed in Jesus...we know Thomas had to have his doubts as to if Jesus was going to Rise on Sunday from the dead ....but what about Peter and John the beloved...and Mary oh my heart as a mother breaks for her and what she saw on Fri,... her beautiful boy Gods son tortured and killed in such a way and SHE knew He was Gods son but surly even she had a doubt or a touch of fear of what would REALLY happen on Sunday the 3rd day....the hope ever alive that her Son would be whole again.,. not tattered and torn and bloody as she saw him last.

So tonight as you try and scrub those little hands free of egg dye ( oh come on all kids need purple and blue fingers on Easter!) And as you sneak a piece of chocolate or two from the basket,....think on what it was like on the other side of Easter morning the other side of the resurrection as they waited in sorrow at what went before them on Fri-- to what is awaited on Sun... If Friday is colored Black and Sunday is colored white then surly Sat is the color of grey for waiting and suspense and sadness and hope ....

Happy Easter -- He is Risen indeed!~!

pictures....

Maddie "5"

making God centered decisions...

my alters ego melting thru Gods love and healing....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I seem to be headed in a direction I am not sure God wants me to go.
I need to be still and listen not rush like the fool I am.

It seems since last year and all the healing that has taken place over the last 5 years in my life I have so many things that "I" can now do - all are gifts from Him but where is my niche?

What is it HE wants me to do?

I love the photography thing but frankly if He wants me to do that then He truly is going to have to open my mind to learn the things I need to learn - And I guess for my part in it I need to sit still and listen to Him to hear it.

There are so many things - talents and I don't want to give up a one - it makes me sad but I also know I really can't do them all well. /so I am going to have to decide- thru Him WHAT it is HE wants me to focus on.

I know I need to renounce this sadness ...but wouldn't it be natural to be a little sad?

I know there is a ministry out there - He has it for me - I am not sure when it is right for me - I am not sure about maybe going back to school...back ...heck how about going TO school. So much to learn so much I missed .. guess the Lord would have to open my mind up to THAT too...

I really was hoping that thru the new church I would "find" my niche and it would be easy but that isn't happening and what I see is that would NOT be me depending on Him....

Dear God I know I am so much better at this then I was 6 years ago.,..but Lord it is still so hard -