character defects,,,blech,,,

ok it has been brought to my attention that I use the word REALLY a little too much and how am I using it? Well so I needed to look at that this week and figure it out am I using it to be funny or just how??

So I thought about it and how I have been using it and it is sometimes for humor but in this last week and honestly anytime I use it I am being sarcastic...

So looking up sarcasm-" it is passive aggressive a desire to attack while cloaking it in humor or just plain obfuscation......" (which means... to confuse, bewilder, or stupefy to make obscure or unclear)

"Sarcasm can be the result of bitterness and resentment towards a person at whom the sarcasm is directed or sometimes just bitterness towards life its self... - it isn't the sarcasm that's bad rather what causes it to be used."

Another thing I read about it is " the use of sarcasm is hiding behind a mask of inability to address something directly- honestly-objectively -"

Sarcasm - root of the word is to tear flesh-- OUCH!!!

so now I know...and in this past week I believe I was using it at God... imagine that me being passive aggressive towards God?! ahhhch

that's no way to be to anyone let alone God!! I used to be quite the sarcastic girl...coulda been my middle name and yes I will admit I wanted to tear that flesh at the person I was most sarcastic to. But as I went thru some healing and got better the flesh tearing had ceased... yet it apparently has creep-ed back even tho that person is no longer in my life. why? whats up with me and what gives to be sarcastic to GOD?? after all HE has done and is still healing in my life ?

So while I was a little taken aback when my sponsor asked me about that when I go back to my last blog post and see what I had been talking about and who I was saying it to... ummm REALLY??? ok thats funny and towards myself just had to say it but totally gotta stop no sense in tearing my own flesh ... So I need to change that little trait get out of my habits and look at the bitterness issue and how and who I've been sarcastic to and see is there bitterness in that relationship is there an amends I need to make to that person or a relationship I need to look at?

And if I am being sarcastic towards God then do I not have to address my arrogance ? Humble myself before Him and know He is God.

And even tho sarcasm can be used in humor that's not been my MO - i think it was most on target with the tearing of flesh.... sighhhh

so lets see that's sarcasm and arrogance ... 2 offenses at God ...yeah .... ok I got some work to do here...