there is cake in my kitchen ,...in my mind I have had the cake in my hands in my mouth savored it swallowed it eaten it all stuffed it down the first swallows brings the relief of the feelings of aggravation at being abandoned and not good enough this morning....the second swallows brings the shame of weakness and the rest not even tasting it as it goes down eating and not tasting because the food drug has done its work at numbing the feelings of my heart .
instead of doing this -- today I will call on God He is my Savior my Redeemer He will lift me up make me whole He is my EVERYTHING - thru Him I can feel good enough I am not abandoned-
it's hard to face all those feelings and cake first thing in the morning before 8 am...
but it is awesome that Jesus doesn't sleep in He is always there for me!
and the cake? yeah it will be heading down the garbage disposal ...
stupid cake.
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