Wednesday, May 19, 2010

chocolate dreams and butterscotch kisses.....

oh my gosh this is crazy to have your brain so programed that at the first sign of stress aggravation pain of the physical or mental or emotional to EAT.
I mean really who and why and how did we get here?
Skinny people obviously do not think like "oh ouch my head/back heart hurts I should go eat!" or "he makes me so mad I should get a chocolate bar" or "what! the bills are so high i should go get candy."
this isn't even like a obvious thought it is automatic !
transitions...are hard for me I am not sure-- like why when we get done eating and people are on the move from one room to another on to the next thing and no matter how full i am it triggers something in my brain to eat - maybe it was the moving around as a kid from Mom's house to Dad's on the weekends never ending up where I wanted to be so now when life around me changes just the slightest it triggers the eating thing. I know it is a comfort thing I am just not sure what it is I need in order to NOT need / want the chocolate...
I guess before things change I need to run the serenity prayer thru my brain... have it tatooed on the inside of my eyelids!!

ok well enough crazy for now!

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