getting by......

Have ya ever just found when you looked at where you are in life that you are "just " getting by? That's my feeling today as I look at my life - I feel like I have been living in indecision these last 4-5 years ...long time right? yeah well when Jes graduated from School I still had the other 3 kids at home in sports busy - and then as they are aging out of the program (HA!) so to speak - I am just kinda hanging in there --

I still have no real routine ( OK my excuses before was it was too hard with the kids who's routines were always changing...LOL) Now I waste so much time .its just crazy - in those 4-5 years I was going thru the last of the mental healing and the couseling and so the changes were many and I had a hard time just keeping up - but now the main things I need to change eating compulsivly - shouldn't be so hard. It IS but it shouldn't be after all the other stuff thats changed in me! This should almost be the easy part!

Ok so what am I going to do about it? I am setting up those blasted routines that it seems everyone else in the workd has but me - and Work them - like they say in OA it works if you work it!

Routines - uggg they feel like straight jackets but I know they are not- after 25 years of being a wife maybe it will be good to have a laundry day!
yeahhhh we will see.