Jesus is my First Place...

Jesus is my First Place...
I lost 10 pounds over the holidays...and Jesus is the reason.
I say that because I am looking back and seeing what the real difference is for me in this weight loss these last few weeks and it is definitely Jesus- He is the difference,. I have tried and somewhat succeeded on many different diets over the years I did Oprahs - Optifast and lost but then gained it all plus more back - I did the bulimia thing at the cost of my teeth - do you have any idea at the cost of permanent bridges? WOW - I did weight watchers countless times as well as Jenny Craig and yup I had weight loss surgery in 1998 that one is a hard one for me because the pain of the surgery - the cost - the scar - the eating one ounce of food at meals and the 60 pound weight loss in 4 months (gasp too much too fast !) - all of that I gave up for a thoughtless comment made to me by a loved one . See I had my eyes on me not on Jesus. And 2 years ago I had to go back in and have the broken ring removed at further cost to our family. It sent me into Atrial fib and I could have died . I also lost a whopping 70 pounds on South beach 3years ago - my last “success” . I was doing good in fact I was militant about it - I was a south beach convert man nothing was going to get white bread past these lips! (Ok I am still rather militant about the white bread thing but for different reasons now!) And exercise yup I got to a point where I was walking 21 miles a week -yet the weight loss kind of stabilized the militancy stumbled and another emotional hit to the heart and bam back on the weight came .Again my eyes were on me not Jesus. I must admit I did learn a lot of good things on the South Beach diet and another confession would be it has been tempting to go back to that while on the First Place and yet I do not believe that the South Beach plan in it’s truest form is what God wants for me . He likes fruits and grains that was why He made them . What He likes even more is my new found relationship with Him and not with the food. That I do not use food as a substitute for Him - That I can realize it isn’t the diet that is doing this great transformation it isn’t me and my exercise prowess it is Him -it is me putting Him in FIRST PLACE where He belongs. Food is just that food - it can not truly comfort me , it can not heal the hurts , it can not hide me from the world, it can not be joyful at my triumphs it can not weep at my sorrows - ONLY JESUS has the power and the heart to do all those things. JESUS is my Savior not food, JESUS is my Master not food, JESUS is my Wonderful Counselor not food. JESUS is my friend not food. On South Beach and Weight Watchers and Jenny Craig and Optifast all those things the food was the tool to weight loss. In First Place JESUS is my tool ( in a respectful kinda way!) Food is just food no capital letters no fan fare or orchestra playing when I eat it. It gives me nourishment while Jesus fills me up . Food fills my stomach Jesus fills my heart. And it is the heart that matters. My brain has been telling my stomach that it was hungry for all the years that my heart was broken - my brain was wrong and dysfunctional.
All those deceptive diets that were going to change me left me longing for only one thing -more food. JESUS - has been there all along. That it is HIS balance HE seeks for us - true balance not I’ll get balanced after I lose 50 pounds or get mentally fit first or physically fit first– but balanced right from the start- He made us balanced it is the world and the enemy that unbalanced us.
Yes this is still a journey for me I am not “there” yet as far as my weight loss goes and - I still have a long way to go Spiritually too , but I am so glad that I put Jesus in first place where HE belongs.