wow

living a surrendered life I think I get it, Now it is living it - God is so awesome my heart is brimming over with His love for me for all of us really , I know He loves us all equally but I would like to think He has a special place for abused and neglected kids..

tonight I feel like a precious jewel of Gods...

tonight marks and ending and a beginning...

feeling badly

have you ever said something and then feel really bad ? of course everyone has... I just feel like I put my foot in my mouth with a friend and it wasn't my fault I just feel badly that she might have been hurt even if it was inadvertantly by me. I feel realllyyyy stupid

ughhaaruggggahhhh

ok now I gotta let it go right? RIGHT...sighhhhhhh

first place

Well Dave says : As far as your weight goes I believe it will not be an issue when you learn to take Jesus as your everything instead of using food to fill the need inside. You will then eat for sustainence rather than for emotional reasons.

I started weight watchers but just HATE points... HATE the group junk

Some friends have said first place~ first place ( thanks Mary ,Carol , Donna!)
everything in this last part of my healing jurney is leaning towards JESUS being FIRST PLACE in my life... DUH I am such a dork ---

We know this is truth- ( the Jesus thing NOT the dork thing!) I KNOW this is truth Jesus has to be first place -
SO starting the first place bible study ...Seems so much better then WW or even SB not sure about the whole calorie counting thing that seems hard but the scriptures I am underlining WOW

Nahum1 : 7 The LORD is good, a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust in him,

Zechariah 4: So he said to me, "This is the word of the LORD to Zerubbabel: 'Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,' says the LORD Almighty. msg Bible says :: Then he said, "This is God's Message to Zerubbabel: 'You can't force these things. They only come about through my Spirit,'

Humility Kim --- God has told me over and over I am nothing - humble myself I am not Him I can't be God not my god not my kids god nobodys god coz...I ani't GOD...

I can't do this only thru His Spirit can I do this back to John 15:5
I am the vine ....apart from Me you can do nothing -- the words of Jesus right there ...

ok well something I read today was just do the first right thing,,,, I think God wants me to do this - so I am doing the first right thing-

Homecoming

Here are the group of girls Jen went to homecoming with...

are they cute or what??!!

new BSF year

yea new BSF year I am excited tho obviously miss my old group but...sighhh the new group will be fun too...I am sure of it, coz God is good! He knows me...LOL and He loves me...

let's see it is the last photo class did I learn anything...yes...a little wish I had more time to have put more into the outta class stuff... don't feel like I will carry it in my brain long...LOL

DOF...PV...TV... f-stops... metering.... uggghh...with all thats going on in my world who can think....

ok well what eles ...

BSF thought of the week,,,,
if there is no conflict between what you read ( in Bible study) and hear ( in lecture or sermons at your church ) with how you are living then there is no truth in your study - God works thru His word there is thinking and changing going on in growth--
the TRUTH of scripture must bring change and growth.

WOW ...

parental heartbreak

heart is battered and bruised by the things they do
they do wrong while smiling and saying Jesus loves you
they sit in the church and hear all that is right and good
but then comes the girlfriends and not doing as they should
they laugh at your values snear at your rules
they sneak around like we adults are all fools
when did we lose those babies so sweet
the small little hands the sweet little feet?
why are they living like eternaity doesn't matter?

need to get my smiles back

make me laugh make me smile -- come on I dare ya...

There has been so much going on it weighs me down and frankly who needs to add weight??? NOT me -

I bought flowers for me and my sisters ( all three bouquets matched) ..they are so pretty

I am calling them sister flowers...

they are beautiful and full of life -love -and joy

and I hope they made them smile like they did me -

Rough week in kimville

it has been a rough week -God is good ALL THE TIME and things turned out ok- for me
I faced some things like death a 2ND time -- the first being my hysterectomy --for some reason that time I felt like I was looking at death --and then this week --with that tech and the bone scan-- wow -- I am not sure I want to "face" my death -- maybe going fast like Kristi in the accident is a better way then a long drawn out thing I guess God has it all under His control and He takes us when it is our time , So if this wasn't MY time then I know He does have a mighty plan to use what I have been thru for His kingdom work - it was a good test of not jumping ahead in my head and playing things out without putting God in the control seat- I had to keep the reigns on my emotions and reign in the fear and sadness... and lean on Him trusting Him --

Stuff...

Wow taking a photo class a fundamentals class starting next week -- I am pretty excited.. scared son't really know what my learning curve is - hope I can do this! Coz I want to -

here are pictures I took at the fair... they print out really crisp... not sure what the online conversion will do to them! CLICK ON THE PICTURE TO SEE IT BIGGER!

Jenni and Gracie

Lauren and Josh

Jeremy and Morgan

Jes and Eric

Scott and me

the midway

Goat

Cute little kids twin boys...and a sister

Loved the signs above their heads

the barn they moved from accross 38th street

My Jesus

.....taking His hand
..........feeling His strength
...............knowing His love for me
.......................trumps all .

Junk

there is lots of junk going on ...needing prayers

my Bible devotions today were Romans 8:28-38

28And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose

And The Lord knows I love Him sooo it is all good right?

no matter what...

So this next week keeping my eyes focused on Him ...and not on what ails me ---

School is IN!

the last of the first day of school pics for my boys... Senior year--
and Jenni's first year of HS...wow -


Well summer is over the school year has began...
back into a schedule ....well sorta...LOL with Volleyball and band and practice and homework all for Jenni and then work and girlfriends for the boys,,,LOL that is about as normal as it gets... I guess...

it is nice to have my house back today finally....after the 1/2 days for the boys --and Jenni finally back in...

I am trying to get my foot taken care of get it fixed ,,,of course if it is arthritis then...well I hope there would be meds to make it easier to walk on!

Now it is on to getting the house cleaned and keeping it cleaned!!
at least while the kids are in school!!

sleep

Blessed sleep... in a house of teenagers it seems to be something elusive... I don't know why they say teenagers need the most sleep of anyone...I say teenagers MOM's need the most sleep of anyone.
last night didn't go to bed until midnightish then someone Jeremy was out of the house at 6 am -- he didn't get permission so now I am up grrrrrr

teenagers and toddlers I swear they are the same personalities...
my toddlers (the boys) never slept... they wanted to do it themselves (Independence) they talked among themselves often plotting things ( yup still doing that.) they fight over toys..( the truck and the gas in it is just a bigger toy)
Twin boys HA HA HA God... thanks so much ...

Restless - hungry

Restlessness fills my soul
hunger deep down gnawing a hole
like a junkie needing my next fix
I look through the cupboards for a healthy mix
of something sweet and something chewy
something chocolaty and gooey
But stopping myself in the knick of time
don't want to face the mother of all diet crimes
hiding and eating stuffing my face
eating things just for a taste
eating junk yet not filling me whole
when it is Jesus I need He is the food for my soul

starting over

I hate starting over...
it is awful....

So maybe I shouldn't look at it as starting over... maybe the Lord can give me a new attitude about it ,...

South Beach... yeah... I know I was doing weight watchers but darn it all I am not any good at counting points...

So back to the beach...even tho summer is almost over...LOL

I still have my SB chili it is in the freezer as we speak..read ..write...whatever... anyway I have been making that all along so it is just more work but not a lot more...
I can do this ... I lost what...65 pounds 71 ponds a few years ago and that was then when I was still dealing with a lot.,.,.SO now I think I can do it ...
but not alone...no never alone...only me and Jesus
He is my life guard on this beach!! LOL

OK so there I have made the public statement...
I am going to the beach and jumping in...ahhh Mon yeah Mon...LOL
no swimming tonight or Sun ...
OK ---

I can do this
Thru Him all things are possible...
right???

OUCH!

ok ok whatever ...SUNBURN is bad...sun screen is good....

yes that is the difference in my collarbone skin...ouch! I know stupid....

but it was so nice by the pool in the sun in the water the cool blue shimmery water.,.. no I don't seem very remorseful do I?? LOL I probably will later on tonight ...after this aloe aftersun junk wears off...man I hope I don't peel...the funny thing is the sun really makes my hair look whiter...LOL man I think I am too old for this!! LOL

sun shine addiction

I love the sun.,..I know I know it is bad thing to do ...with skin cancer and all but ...I love the sun... I have the choice to swim at the Benedictine center today OR go to Madeline's and swim...in the sun ... and swimming at Benedictine is really swimming like laps -- at Madeline's it is a 3 ft circle pool...OH it is big,,,but come one no real exercise.,.. but lovely sun....LOL

OK maybe I will do Benedictine and come home and do laundry then go to Madeline's... yeah maybe that will work.... LOL

to get my sun fix in the cool of the pool is awesome!!!

If I had been skinny I would probably be dead from skin cancer by now...
not that fat girls can't tan ...but I woulda probably pushed harder for a pool...of our own...and then of course a pool boy......

Our Fathers love is extravagant

Our Fathers love is extravagant
His Love is exceptional
His Grace is magnificent
the things He does for us is unimaginable in human standards He loved us before we even were - He loves the thought of us - think about that one... We love our children - our spouses but do we love unconditionally? Like HE does?

Here's a thought eyebrows....
Jenni and I went to Shari's for eyebrow waxing and Jenni was like wow eyebrows are weird these random patches of hair on our faces...how weird that God gave us these and Gracie was like yeah but Jen think how funny we look without them...

See God is extravagant to give us eyebrows...to brake up that whole expanse of skin between our eyes and our hairlines... it gives us in site into peoples moods their thoughts eyebrows up in surprise or furrowed down in anger - my dog even has eyebrows... think about that ...LOL
eyebrows....WOW..........LOL

anxious

inside I feel all anxious - tense
feeling like I have caused offense
shoulders and neck all knotted and tight
inside I am getting ready for a fight
I need to rely on Jesus - my Lord
That on Calvery His blood poured
To give me freedom from the chains that bind
to remenber I have left all of THAT life behind

are you in the 83% or the 17% ??

How do people survive without Jesus? How do people with Jesus commit the acts that they do and call themselves Christian?
the news just had a report that "Nearly across the board, the majority of religious Americans believe many religions can lead to eternal life: mainline Protestants 83 % belive that there are many ways to heaven... read the whole story....http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,370588,00.html

ok mainline protestants... thats most of all whom I know ...that means those 83 % are not going to heaven
you gotta believe that Jesus is who He said He was ...and what He said is truth to call yourselves a Christian .... our pastor preached on this report and how in Numbers 13 & 14 (read it for yoyrself...) --12 went out to look at the Land that God --GOD mind you had promised them and only 2 Josh and Caleb came back with a good report like hello ...God sent them out to see this -- God said it is good who ARE these people who don't think God is right?? well all but 2 felt like God couldn't be right that they knew better and as it ended up only 2 got to see the new land hummm is this a lesson for us ---in the math world (so Pastor Dan preached...) these 2 from 12 = 17%...so that means 83% believed something else about the Land God had given them....and they ended up not getting to live there... Sounds to me like History is repeating its self...So question remains where are you? Are you in the 83% that thinks there are many ways to heaven or the 17 % that believes Jesus is the only way?? makes for a startling revelation that Heaven aint gonna be so crowded...